Page 298 of When Wrong Feels So Right

“Is everything okay, Pru?” I ask her curiously once too much time passes. “What’s going on?”

She stares up at me, seemingly understanding something that I don’t. “Sorry, Logan, I know… I know that I shouldn’t…” She stammers awkwardly. “I don’t know what I…”

She pushes her chair up, knocking my hand off her as she does. I half expect her to race back into her bedroom to maintain the distance between us, but she doesn’t. She steps closer to me, closing the gap between us, I can almost feel her heart racing in her chest.

This is wrong, I tell myself. So, so wrong. I need to step back, to do something…

But I can’t. The invisible, gravitational pull between us brings us closer, connecting us at every single inch of our bodies. I am acutely aware of every single part of her, all of her as it moves and slides closer to me. Whatever my hand on her shoulder meant, it’s awoken something in her, something very similar to the moment when we shared that kiss only a couple of days ago, but this time there’s something much more intense about it. It’s so dangerous, but I crave it.

“Pru, we…” I try to speak but my voice is raspy and desperate. “I don’t know…”

“I don’t know either,” she confesses but she doesn’t pull away. “But it feels right.”

She’s right, and I know it, so as she wraps her arms around me and she lifts herself up onto her tiptoes, I can’t resist any longer. My pulse races, my stomach flip flops, my body freaks.

I lean down and I kiss her hard, losing my mind completely. I turn my thoughts off completely, I don’t even bother to acknowledge the rest of the world anymore. I’ve spent so long fighting this, trying to do the right thing and it hasn’t gotten me anywhere. We both still want this badly, and we both know it’ll feel good. Maybe actually what we need it to really get it out of our systems.

“I’m sorry,” Pru says while falling away from me. “I know that I promised I wouldn’t do that, I didn’t mean to…” She looks guilty, like she hates herself, but she doesn’t have to.

“Don’t be sorry,” I pant back. “It’s fine, it isn’t bad. Honestly, we can…”

We stare at each other in disarray, neither of us knowing what it’s best for us to do next. So many things run through my mind, but I don’t know what to do with any of it. This is crazy….

The next moment I don’t know what’s happened, but I’m holding her once more and we’re kissing properly like there’s no tomorrow. There’s nothing chaste and delicate about this, my tongue has dipped between her lips and I’m controlling her mouth with mine.

All the sexual tension that’s been building between us comes to a head. Nothing that I’ve ever done before, especially not the people I’ve been with to try and recover from Pru, has ever felt like this before. She’s incredible, absolutely out of this world.

I pull back and hold onto her cheeks, staring deeply into her eyes. In that moment, I see everything that I didn’t even know that I wanted. I see it with her. It might be wrong and risky, the rest of the world might not agree with what we’re doing, but we know how great it is. We both know how we feel about one another, we both know how real and deep this is.

“Come to my bedroom,” I say desperately to her. “Come with me. I need you.”

I clutch onto her soft hand and wait for her answer. Much as I want this, I won’t take that step without her explicit permission. The ball is firmly in her court, whatever she wants I will do. That doesn’t stop me being impatient though, there’s a clawing desperation in my chest.

Chapter Twenty – Prudence

The bedroom… I might not know much about life, I might be naïve, but I know where the bedroom leads. It’ll take me to that place I’ve been fantasizing about a lot in my mind. But fantasy is very different to reality. Can I really go through with it? I want to, but can I? Should I?

“Okay.” My body screams at me to agree, I need this. I want this, I know I do. Self-doubt has no place now when this is something that I’ve been desiring forever more. “Okay, yeah, let’s…”

My whole body shudders as Logan pulls me into his bedroom. It’s a room that I saw once when I moved in but that I haven’t been in since because we’ve tried our hardest to keep our distance. I didn’t even come in here when I was in the apartment alone because I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries and get sent back to my own apartment. Logan was being good, so I wanted to as well. Although, that didn’t exactly work well, did it? Here we are, in a worse position than ever. We simply can’t keep away from one another. There’s an undeniable pull between us we can’t avoid.

I don’t get much of a chance to look around the room even though I wouldn’t mind getting to know it all a lot better, because in a heart beat Logan’s mouth is back on mine again, making me feel sexy and safe all at once. When he touched me on the shoulder it confirmed what I already knew. I like Logan touching me and I can’t stand that from anyone else. It’s because I love him, and now I’m going to get to express that love in a physical fashion. This feels right, I’m so glad that I’m here.

Nerves give way to excitement, and I roll my hips back into him once more. Fuck, this is something that I definitely want, I don’t know what was holding me back before. There isn’t anyone else in the world that I could lose my virginity to. It could only ever be him, the man who’s helped me so much, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. I don’t want anymore, only Logan.

Logan walks me back towards the bed as we kiss until my calves hit the bed frame then he stops. I think he’s waiting for me to make the next choice, but it’s already been made. Now that we’re here, I want him to throw me back onto the sheets and I want him to send me to Heaven and back.

“Logan,” I whisper into his mouth while sliding my hands off of him. “I want this.”

; My words are magic, he lifts me from my feet and flings me back onto the bed. I bounce a little which makes me giggle playfully. I feel wild and carefree, no longer am I consumed by self-doubt and anxiety. Logan has stripped that from me completely. He knows me so well, he understands me inside and out, and I love that he does. He thinks I’m important, which makes it so.

Logan looms above me for a few seconds, looking down at me with a smile, but then he climbs over me on all fours, joining me on the bed. Once his head is level with mine, he rests his forehead against mine and he stares into my eyes with such a lovely look it makes me melt all over. I take the look as love, it makes me feel like he loves me just as I do him. Maybe this is complicated, but if we’re in love with one another then we’ll find a way to make it work somehow.

This is the start of the rest of my life, I’m sure of it. Me and Logan, we will be together.

As Logan leans down to kiss me gently and softly, my heart explodes like fireworks. One of his hands moves gently up my body, caressing my side as he goes, sending sparkles and fizzles all the way to my core. I can’t help myself, I shiver lightly. All of this feels much more real than in my fantasies. Of course, it would because this is real, but it’s better too. Much more everything that I ever could have imagined. My naïve brain didn’t do Logan justice at all. This is utterly incredible.