Page 45 of The Cowboy and the Cougar (The Cougar Chronicles 1)
"Jack...."
"What?"
"Maybe you should eat first and then weâll talk."
"Not a chance. You tell me what you came to tell me. And no more kissinâ until itâs all out in the open."
"So youâre ready to listen now?"
He nodded. That kiss had told him what he already knew. He wasnât ready to give her up. Not by a long shot. So heâd listen. But heâd listen from a distance. He picked up the curry comb and got back to his horse.
"You stay there," he said, "and start talkinâ."
"This isnât easy for me."
"It isnât for me, either. Last night sucked, Holly. If you think youâre the only one hurtinâ here, think again."
"Iâm sorry."
"Quit apologizinâ and explain yourself. Iâm aginâ here."
She let out a heavy sigh. He focused on horseâs shiny coat.
"It is the age thing, but thereâs more to it than you know." She cleared her throat. "That first night we met, I told you I was in a bad place."
"I know. Weâve all been in bad places, Holly."
"This was a particularly bad one, Jack. Iâd just been diagnosed with cancer."
Oh God. His heart dropped to his stomach. He tossed the currycomb to the ground and hurried toward her. "Sugar, are you all right?"
"Yeah, yeah, Iâm fine." She swiped her hand across her nose and sniffed. "Sort of."
"What do you mean, sort of? Sugar, please, tell me youâre okay."
"I am. I mean, my lifeâs not in danger or anything."
"Come sit with me." He led her out of the stable and onto a patch of soft grass. He sat down and drew her into his lap. His heart ached.
"Tell me."
"It was cervical cancer, Jack. I-I always had my pap smears, which was lucky. They caught it real early. But it was an aggressive strain. So they treated it aggressively."
"Oh." His heart sank. He already knew where this was going.
"They took my uterus. Plus one ovary. Just left me one for hormones. Iâm pretty much cleaned out."
; "God."
"I had to give up my dream of being a mom. I thought Iâd come to terms with it. Until you came back into my life."
He swallowed and kissed the top of her head. Heâd thought about having a child with her. Sure, she was older, but not too old. Now that wouldnât happen.
Did it matter? Sam wanted a brother. He knew that. He sure loved kids and always thought heâd have more eventually, once the right woman came along.
That the right woman might not be able to give him children hadnât occurred to him.