Page 36 of Finding Carson Lee (Oh Captain, My Captain 3)

“Yep,” he says simply at first. “My parents thought a bottle of vodka was more important than their kids, so the state took us. My first home was when I was thirteen. God, I don’t even know how many I was in.” He shakes his head at the memories. “I was seventeen when I left the last one. I signed up to join the Army, figuring it was the best way to make money and see the world. All it really showed me was how I was a punk kid that didn’t know shit.”

It’s a dangerous line to walk, so I keep my response short. “Seems like you were able to recover.”

“I’m not one to pry into other people’s lives because it’s none of my business. However, you can keep lying about having a family if you want, but I know the look in your eyes. That hurt. That pain. The loss of parents, whether good or bad. You have that look, Carson.” He turns to look at me. “I held that look for a long time in my life.”

My mouth is moving before I can do much thinking. “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. The only person who knows me is myself.” I can’t believe he thinks he knows anything about me.

; “Carson,” he starts in a steely, no-nonsense voice. “Drop the attitude because you’re not fooling me. I’m going to tell you a story, and you’re going to listen, alright?” He doesn’t give me a chance to agree or disagree.

“When I was twenty, a bunch of Army buddies and I went to Biloxi to the casinos to blow our paychecks. I was nothing but a show off and a know-it-all and there was no one who could tell me different. So, I’m at the bar, drinking of course, when I see this drop dead blonde at the end of the bar.” A smile lifts his lips. “Oh, I loved her the moment I saw her. I went up to her, told her my name, that I was in the Army, and tried to impress her. You know what she did?”

I shake my head.

“She blew me off. Wouldn’t give me the time of day. However, she said something that changed my life. She told me when I grew up to come find her. Those words pierced my heart, and I knew that I couldn’t stay on the path that I was on. So, I changed. I found her again, married her, left the Army, got a good job, and she gave me the greatest gift ever. My daughter. The moment I looked in Kinley’s eyes, I knew I would move heaven and earth for her. I hope that someday you find your Ruby before it’s too late.”

“I appreciate the story, Mr. Wright, but despite what you may think, I am happy with how my life is right now.” I am. No doubt about that.

“Son, if you’re happy like this, then great, but don’t do it because you don’t think there’s nothing better. Don’t do it because you think you’ll be like your parents. My parents were the worst, but I swore when I became a dad I wouldn’t be that way, and I’m not. But I see a lot more in you than what you’re showing.”

Ignoring the last part, I tell him, “I’m not doing it because I think I’ll be like my parents. It took me a long time to accept that I could stay happy with this life. I pay a lot of money to keep my private life hidden, so the other well-known stuff can stay in the public.”

“Just remember: if they’re hidden, that doesn’t mean they won’t be made public. No matter how much money you put into people’s mouths.”

Yeah, we’ll see. “What is it that you think you see in me anyway?” I ask once I don’t have to look directly at him.

“A good man who’s hiding behind women and booze because he hasn’t found real happiness yet.”

What the hell is real happiness anyway, if it’s not what I already have? Even I know that’s a joke, though. “A good man.” I laugh. “Funny how your daughter thinks I’m the furthest thing from that. It’s a bit ironic to me.”

“Kinley sees the good in people all the time. Trust me, she knows you’re a good man.”

Chapter Nineteen

Kinley

I look over myself in the mirror. I have listened to my mother gripe all day, and I’m not really looking forward to dinner. Well, that’s somewhat of lie. I do get to spend it with Dad and maybe Mama will have gotten all her bitching out. I tuck the one crazy piece of hair behind my ear and make sure my black dress hasn’t gathered any lint. Dad told me that he’s taking us somewhere fancy, so I knew to dress up.

The knock on my door tells me that it’s time to go. I grab my purse and phone and open the door. I’m expecting my father, but instead I see Carson Lee.

“What the hell do you want?”

“You really need to work on your greetings.” He gives me that smirk. “Are you ready to go?”

“Go? Go where?” I ask puzzled.

“To dinner? With your parents?” He acts like I should know this already.

“How the hell did you get invited to dinner with my parents?” I cross my arms.

“Your mother insisted.” His smirk deepens.

“Of course it’s my mama.” I throw my hands up. “Fine, there’s no reason to argue at this point. Come on.”

Carson follows me out to the lobby, and I hail a cab. We both slide in, and I tell the driver where to go. We don’t say anything because it’s not that long of a drive and there isn’t much to say.

The restaurant is not well lit, but it makes the white tablecloths shine brightly. There is an old wax candle in the middle of the table. I see my parents right away and head to them. There are greetings, hugs, and handshakes. I’m glad there’s a bottle of wine on the table. We make small talk until Mama begins in on Carson first.