Page 65 of Driving Me Mad (Sanity 1)

“Oh! Look!” Rebecca rushes forward and we hurry after her. She’s managed to nab a spot that was just vacated with a great view for the show. There’s only room for the two of them, but it’s no problem for me to stand behind them. I feel like a bodyguard, especially when Brittany pulls me closer to her.

We have about twenty minutes before the show starts. In that time, Brittany gets tenser and tenser from the crowds and all the noises. Traffic starting and stopping, horns honking, engines revving as they punch the gas, conversations creating a jumble of noises as people talk, people shouting as they try to sell you water, and a group about thirty feet away yelling in protests about how people are going to hell for being in this city, gambling and whatnot. It is a little overwhelming, especially when all you’re doing is standing and waiting.

I rub her back and hope it soothes her. It doesn’t seem to help. I place my arm over her like a seatbelt and hold her against my chest. Her own chest is moving with controlled breaths as she grips my arm. Just then, I can faintly hear her speaking.

“Goat. Cow. Pig. Horse,” she whispers, pausing. “Chicken.” Her body ever so slowly begins to relax.

I lean down to ask, “What are you doing?”

She twists to look at me. “New technique to distract myself. It requires more thinking than just rambling off numbers.”

“Hey, it’s starting.” Rebecca points out to the water as music begins to play.

It is a beautiful show. The water moves seamlessly in time with the music and it’s mesmerizing to watch. Rebecca does think to take photos and she records the show. The girls can’t seem to pull themselves away, eager to see what will be played next. Eventually, after nearly an hour and a half, I speak up.

“Y’all ready to go?”

“Yeah,” they sigh, causing me to laugh.

“Let’s walk up to the hotel and catch a cab then.”

Rebecca leads the way and I hold up the back. I’m lost in my head as we wait in line. However, there are two things I’m certain of: my girl doesn’t like crowds, and she was absolutely right that Las Vegas would test her limits and anxiety.

The exhaustion starts to settle in on the ride back to the hotel in both girls. Rebecca probably just from traveling and exploring. Brittany from those things on top of dealing with anxiety all day. Back in the hotel room, we take turns with the bathroom to get ready for bed and change. Brittany and I both take our pills and then lie down.

Rebecca turns off the lights and turns on the TV before getting into bed herself. Brittany scoots closer to rest her head against my chest. I rub her back and hope I can fall asleep. Rebecca is the first to be down for the count. Brittany follows soon after. My nap probably ruined me. All I can do is hope my sleeping pill kicks in soon.

I slept for maybe two hours. Brittany tossed and turned all night, elbowing me in the ribs a few times, and when she wakes up, I know she slept as badly as it seemed. She frowns when she lifts her head to see me already awake. She doesn’t say a word; she only drops her forehead against my shoulder.

“Rebecca is still out,” I whisper. “Try to get more sleep, Britt.”

“I felt like I was tossing and turning too damn much,” she mumbles.

“You were,” I confirm.

She lifts her head with a deep frown. “How much did you get?” she whispers.

; “Two hours, give or take. Just feeling tired this morning; that’s all. Well, maybe a little shitty.” That makes her smile. “You’re terrible for smiling at that.”

“You know that’s not why I’m smiling, Trace.”

“I know.” She’s smiling because I opened up. “At least try to sleep; it’s going to be a long day.” It’ll probably be another hour or so before anyone is going to want to start their day.

Brittany rests her cheek against my chest. I’m surprised when she does fall back asleep, and more so when I wake up to find I did too. The day starts off decently enough. Breakfast and then slowly making our way down the strip through all the hotels and casinos that they want to see. With each step taken, my mood worsens. It takes strength to both keep going and to not hide it from Brittany.

The worried glances she keeps giving me don’t help either. It makes me want to hide it because how she can enjoy this trip if she’s worrying about me? I do my best to hang back and let her and Rebecca lead the way. Rebecca does a great job keeping her distracted from me and focused on the wonders of the hotels. Even I can’t help but appreciate the beauty within Caesars Palace, the Bellagio, the Palazzo, and the Venetian, which is probably my favorite.

It’s amazing how they create these little towns inside the hotels. The Venetian has one called St. Mark’s Square. There’s like a river flowing down the middle where people can take a ride in a gondola. The ceilings are painted to look like the sky, such a beautiful blue with white clouds. There are some people on a little stage, singing, dancing, and giving visitors a show. It’s hard to leave the beauty of it.

Something like this is exhausting, though. All the walking, all the looking, all the paying attention, the occasional slot playing. It’s tiring. Add on emotional turmoil, lack of sleep, and a need to curl into a ball, and I’m running myself ragged. We eat dinner at our hotel, and I’m so thankful that Brittany and Rebecca are going to that male revue show tonight. It’ll allow me to do exactly what I want.

Lie down.

I’m going to need rest to recover from today and prepare for tomorrow. I have a feeling Fremont Street will not treat Brittany well.

“I’m heading up to the room. What are y’all going to do between now and the show?” I ask.