Page 5 of Dirty Beasts

Observe his scowling murderous face,

His wicked eyes, his lack of grace,

Note well his long and crinkly tail.

And when it starts to swish and flail,

Oh gosh! Watch out! Jump back, I say,

And run till you’re a mile away.

The moment that his tail goes swish

He has but one determined wish,

He wants to make a sudden jump

And sting you hard upon your rump.

“What is the matter, darling child?

“Why do you look so tense and wild?”

“Oh mummy, underneath the sheet

“There’s something moving on my feet,

“Some horrid creepy crawly thing,

“D’you think it could be Stingaling?”

“What nonsense child! You’re teasing me.”

“I’m not, I’m not! It’s reached my knee!

“It’s going . . . going up my thigh!

“Oh mummy, catch it quickly! Try!

“It’s on . . . it’s on my bottom now!

“It’s . . . Ow! Ow-ow! Ow-ow! OW-OW!”

The Ant-Eater

Some wealthy folks from U.S.A.,

Who lived near San Francisco Bay,

Possessed an only child called Roy,

A plump and unattractive boy –

Half-baked, half-witted and half-boiled,

But worst of all, most dreadfully spoiled.

Whatever Roy desired each day,