Page 32 of His Very Convenient Bride
Not Flynnâs, though. He hadnât even glanced in her direction.
âThea and Zekeâs wasnât a conventional wedding, by all accounts, but, since nothing else about their relationship was conventional either, it seems only right that it happened this way.â Flynn looked out over the crowd as he spoke, as if he was meeting every personâs gaze individually. âThereâs no point pretending you donât already know the story. Thea and I were, only last month, intending to marry each otherâuntil Zeke drove back into our lives and reminded us all of something important. The power love has to override all plans, make a mockery of any schedule and lead us to places we never thought weâd want to go.â
Helenaâs heart clenched at his words, so similar to the speech heâd made on their wedding day. The tightness in her chest only grew when Flynn turned to gaze directly at her as he spoke again.
âSince my own marriage, I seem to have learnt a lot about love, and about life. Far more than I ever knew before. And that is entirely down to my beautiful wife, Helena.â He motioned towards her and Helena blushed at the âahhâs from the crowd.
What was he doing? Keeping up the charade? Making it impossible for her to walk away? Or was it just possible that this was something else? Something more?
Helena held her breath and allowed herself a moment to hope.
âIn fact, I needed so much education that my wife wrote me a memo, to help me make sense of it all.â The crowd laughed as, from a side table nearby, Flynn picked up a stack of paper and held it up. Helenaâs eyes widened. Her manifesto!
Sheâd poured every hope and dream she had into that pile of paper. Every small detail and moment that would make her future happy. And Flynn had read it, and carried it with him tonight. Did that mean...did he want them to have another chance?
âI wonât read this aloud, although I think every married couple should have a copy. In fact, I have a photocopy here for you, Zeke!â More laughter, and Helena grasped at her skirt with clammy hands. She wanted this over. She wanted to know what this was, what he was doing. She wanted to understand.
âBut I did want to quote just a couple of lines.â He flicked through the pages to a sheet towards the end, and Helena held her breath. âHelena wrote: âLove is about more than where it can take you or what it can provideâa marriage, a home, a family, status or money. Love is about experiencing any or all of those things with the one person who makes them worthwhile. Who makes life meaningful.ââ
Flynn lowered the paper and gazed out over the crowd at her again, and the hope that had budded tightly in Helenaâs heart began to blossom.
âHelena is the only person who could ever and will ever bring that meaning into my life, whatever our future brings. And I feel so incredibly lucky to have realised that, at last.â
He looked away, smiling out at his audience again, but Helena didnât mind. Those were the words she hadnât even known she needed to hear.
âLife doesnât follow a plan, any more than love does,â Flynn went on. âSometimes the best things in life just happenâand so do the worst things. What makes it harder is that sometimes you canât even tell which is which. But life doesnât go backwards, and neither does love. You canât switch love off or pretend it never happened. All you can do is love and live in the now, and look to the future with amazement and joy. And that, my friends, is what I wish for my brother and his wife, and for my mother and Thomas. And, most of all, for Helena and me.â
He stepped down to wild applause, but he didnât seem to hear it. Instead, he walked straight to Helena, took her hand and placed something in it, folding her fingers over it before she could see. But she knew from the shape, the feel of it, exactly what Flynn had given her.
And she smiled and let him take her other hand and lead her outside.
* * *
Flynnâs heart beat double time as he walked Helena out to the outdoor seating area behind the house. There was a slight drizzle in the air, which heâd normally hate, but tonight it just meant that they were able to be alone.
âMy manifesto,â Helena said. âYou know that was just a sort of joke, really.â
âNo, it wasnât,â Flynn said, and tried not to focus on how long it had been since heâd seen her, and how much he had hurt her. âIt told me everything you felt and wanted. It let me know you, see you clearer than I ever had. That and finally hearing the full story about what happened to you.â
She looked away and Flynn reached out to rest his palm against her cheek, to keep her eyes on him. âWhy didnât you tell me in Tuscany?â
âBecause it wouldnât have made any difference,â Helena said, and her mouth twisted up into an almost smile. âEverything you said was still true.â
âNo,â Flynn said, as firmly as he could. He had to make her believe this. âI judged you as the person I thought you were, without even thinking about you as the woman Iâd fallen in love with. I...before I read what youâd written, I was angry with myself for falling in love with you. For loving someone who had done something I considered unforgivable. But now...now I feel I know you better. And I know, even if you donât, that the woman who wrote this doesnât have it in her not to love. You think you wouldnât have loved that child? Youâre wrong.â
âIn which case, I still did the wrong thing by giving her away.â Helena pulled away. âSo nothing changes.â
âI changed,â Flynn said quietly. âYou changed me. I thought...I thought I had to follow a plan, my rules, my schedule. That anything outside of them was wrong. By my rules, what you did was wrong, yes. But you donât live by my rulesâor anyone elseâs. You made the decision you had to make at the time, with the best information you had. And that decision had a big part in shaping who you are today, in making you the woman I love.â
âSo...youâre saying you forgive me?â Helena chewed on her lower lip as she looked up at him with those big bluebell eyes.
âIâm saying that you donât need my forgiveness. You need to forgive yourself.â
* * *
She couldnât stop the tears, didnât even want to. And, as Flynn pulled her into his arms and held her against his chest, she knew sheâd come home again, at last.
âDo you forgive me?â Flynn asked against her hair. âThe things I said...they were unforgivable, I know. But do you think...?â
âYes,â Helena said. âI forgive you.â But if forgiveness was the start for them, she knew it wouldnât be everything. They had a long way to go yet.
âBut, Flynn,â she said, leaning back to see his face, âI canât just forgetâany of it. You, or what happened to me. Thatâs going to take time.â
âI have all the time in the world for you.â Flynn set his cheek against her hair and Helena sighed. It felt right. She wanted it to be right. And yet...
âI canât promise you anything,â she said. âWell, nothing beyond the fact that Iâm apparently always going to love you. Canât seem to shake that one.â
âGood.â
âBut I donât know if Iâll ever be ready to have children.â It hurt to say the words, hurt to think it. Sheâd been happy, imagining her life without kids, until sheâd married Flynn. Now, it stungânot just because she couldnât give him what she knew he wanted, but because for the first time she wondered if she might want it too.
Flynn loosened his arms from around her waist and took her hands in his instead, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles of the fingers, still wrapped around the object heâd placed in her palm.
âI promise you this,â he said, his expression solemn. âThere is no schedule for our life together, no plan. Not any more. If it happens one day that you turn to me and tell me youâre ready to try for a baby, Iâll be the happiest man on earth. And if it doesnât?â He shrugged. âIâll still be the happiest man on earth because Iâll be married to you.â
; Slowly, he dropped to his knees and Helena bit back a sob. Could he really be giving her everything sheâd ever wanted? And could she forgive herself enough to accept?
Peeling back her fingers, he took her engagement ring from her hand and placed it at the tip of her ring finger. âHelena Juliette Ashton. Will you do me the honour of being my wife?â
Through her tears, Helena giggled. âIsnât this where we came in?â she asked as he slid the ring home.
âItâs the only place I want to be,â Flynn said, and tugged her down for a kiss.
EPILOGUE
THE TUSCAN SUN shone down as bright as ever, and Helena pulled the brim of her straw hat down to shade her eyes as she watched her niece and nephew chase each other through the grapevines, racing after their new friend Casper.
It had been five years since she and Flynn had first visited Giaâs vineyard, but Helena still felt exactly the same sense of home as she had the first time.
Up ahead, Thea and Zeke quizzed Gia about her growing methods, about how the wine was made, and Gia answered patiently the questions she must have been asked a thousand times before.
Helena tuned them out and focused instead on the warm sun on her shoulders, the buzz of summer insects in the air, and her husbandâs hand in her own.
âThis is a wonderful place for a family, donât you think?â she asked, and Flynn murmured his agreement.