Page 5 of Hothouse Flower (Calloway Sisters 2)
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In fact, I only think it heightened the pull that says to connect with his body and elevated the strain that says donât draw away.
He fixes my hair that he just messed, combing the strands with his fingers so it doesnât look like I had sex or something.
âDaisy, are you in there?!â my mom shouts, worry lacing her voice.
Go, I mouth to Ryke.
He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and then takes a moment to unlock the bathroom door. He slips inside and gently closes it behind him.
âSorry!â I call to my mom. I rush to unlock my bedroom door. âI told you, I just like my privacy.â
I hear her snort. âFrom who? You live alone.â She pauses. âAre you sure you donât want to come back to the family house in Villanova? Youâll have more company.â Sheâs lonely without me. Thatâs what Iâve deduced from her impromptu visits at any hour during the morning, day and night. Iâm her youngest child of four daughters, the last to fly the coop.
So far, Ryke and I have been pretty lucky with her barging in like this. Iâve always been too afraid to leave the door unlocked, so sheâs never entered the bedroom before Ryke could escape. And I donât have the heart to tell her to stop coming around. Itâd be like saying, hey, Mom, Iâm eighteenâso I donât care about you or your opinions anymore. Thanks. Thatâs shit, right? I already moved out pretty quickly as it is. And I love her enough that I want her to be a part of my life. I just donât want her to be soâ¦consuming.
When I finally open the door, she beelines inside, wearing a navy blue dress and a strand of pearls around her neck. Sheâs a thin woman with a bun perfectly rounded on the back of her head. She has the same brunette hair as my sistersâand me, if my modeling agency allowed me to dye my hair back to my natural color, that is.
Her eyes ping around my messy room. Tank tops, jean shorts and shirts splay over my chair, my desk, some even on the end of my bed. I have a habit of tossing things and forgetting about them. Even when Ryke is around, I donât clean up much. His apartment looks worse than mine, which would just give my mom another reason to hate him.
Heâs too messy for you, Daisy, sheâd tell me. Add that to: He has no job. Heâs living off his trust fund. All he does is climb mountains and ride his motorcycle. He looks mad all the time. Heâs related to that witch Sara Hale. He doesnât even talk to his father. (My mom is Team Jonathan Hale in the Hale feud, mostly because heâs my fatherâs bff.) Rykeâs related to Sara bitchy Hale. (Thatâs her main selling point.) Oh and heâs too old for you.
The âtoo oldâ bit will come later because even though Ryke is seven years older than me, itâs not an end-all for her. Sheâs actually tried to pair me with a thirty-year-old before. He was loaded from holding the copyrights to some popular song. A month after I turned eighteen, I almost went on a date with him, per my motherâs arrangement. My father was the one who put his foot down.
He cares about age difference.
âI called Hilda to come here last week to clean,â she says with an upturned nose. âDid she not make it?â
âI turned her away,â I announce. âIâm trying to be more independent.â And that means not hiring a cleaning lady to fold my clothes. âLily and Loren didnât have Hilda stopping by their apartment.â Now they both live in Princeton, New Jersey with Rose and her husband. Not too far away to visit.
My mom scoffs. âThey could clean up after themselves.â True. Her gaze drops to my stomach, and she pinches my waist. âYouâre not gaining weight before Fashion Week, are you?â she criticizes.
Have I?
Before I look, she appraises me and says, âNever mind. You should be okay.â She fixes my hair that must still be tangled, running her fingers through it like itâs precious gold. âAre you sure you donât want me in Paris with you? I can keep you company while youâre getting your makeup done.â
âI just want to see what itâs like on my own,â I say, trying not to hurt her feelings.
She gives me a weak smile, pretending to be happy for me. âI love you,â she tells me, and then she kisses my cheek. âLetâs go shopping tomorrow. Noon. Iâll have Nola pick you up.â
âOkay.â
And just when I think all is clear, as she travels back towards the door, the shower turns on.
He knows she hasnât left yet.
My mom frowns, and her neck elongates like a prairie dog. She zeroes in on the bathroom door. âDid someone spend the night with you?â
Iâm not embarrassed or mad. I almost want to laugh at the situation. God, what kind of life do I live? âItâs Lily,â I lie. âDo you want to talk to her?â
I know sheâll say no. Lilyâs sex addiction is what put my fatherâs soda company, Fizzle, in a state of distress. The negative press affected our family in so many different ways, and most of them, my mom disapproved of. I donât hate Lily for it, not after seeing how guilty and ashamed she was. But my mom canât really see past the negative. She hasnât forgiven my sister yet.
âI wonât bother her,â she says. âKeep your phone on. And donât lock your door anymore.â She always tells me that before she leaves. After she heads out of my bedroom, I listen for the shut of my apartment door. When it comes, I enter the bathroom.
Steam coats the mirrors and fogs the air. I canât see beyond my daisy-floral shower curtain that sticks out from the tub. I hear the splash of the water on the porcelain and spot his drawstring pants on my shaggy green rug. Heâs naked in there. Well, no duh, Daisy.
âMy mom almost caught you,â I tell him.
âGood,â he says. âThen she can call me a âdisrespectful degenerateâ to my face.â Yeah, she said that the last time she was here. Ryke was hiding in the bathroom then too, and he heard every insult.
âHey, I stuck up for you then and before that, and before that.â
âNo offense,â he says, âbut your mom really doesnât fucking care about your opinions on anything.â
I canât really take offense to his words. I know itâs true. Only two times have I ever confronted my mother with the truth. That Iâd rather be doing somethingâanythingâother than modeling. And she told me that I was being childish and ungrateful, so I shut up on the spot. If I bailed on a photo shoot at the last minute, her face would morph with an expression like thatâs my daughter? That rude little snob?
Disappointing my mother is like stabbing her in the wombâthe very place I used to be. Thereâs a metaphor in there, I think.
Ryke suddenly shuts off the shower and yanks the yellow towel from a hook. Iâve been around too many half-dressed, nearly-naked male models to be that alarmed. But itâs different when you know the person. Itâs different when you have a crush on a guy beyond just his body, when you like all of him.
And I like all of Ryke Meadows.
The shower curtain whips to the side, and Ryke steps out with the towel tied low around his waist, beads of water still dripping down his toned chest and abs. Iâm about to leave, to give him privacy, but he says, âCome here.â
Heâs by the sink. And I watch as he opens his toothpaste and squirts a line on his toothbrush and then a line on mine. He holds out my green Oral B. I take it gratefully, and we both brush our teeth at the same time, pretending not to look at each other through the mirror, even when we do.
Itâs like weâre a couple.
But weâre not. And we never can be.
Some things are too complicated to ever come to pass. I know this is one of those things.
RYKE MEADOWS
Iâm so fucking sick of taking cold showers, which is why I said fuck that yesterday. I need to start going to my apartment where I have the freedom to jerk off.
Every morning is about the same. Wake up in Daisyâs bed. Try to suppress a horrible fucking boner. Take a shower. Run with my brother. Take another shower. Try my absolute fucking best to stroke my cock without thinking of her long legs and that gorgeous fucking smile.
; Usually I succeed. Sometimes I donât.
Iâm only fucking human.
I enter a gated street and slow my Ducati down as I pass each fucking mammoth colonial house. Four sedans trail my ass. Theyâve been following me since I left my apartment in Philly. Two cross the double yellow lines to ride beside me, their windows rolled down, cameras snapping and flashing.
I should be used to this shit by now, but Iâm not. I donât think I can ever be, not after I watched a fearless girl go from being completely fucking fine to scared of the dark to traumatized. Itâs not just the cameras and invasive media. Itâs everything that comes with itâher fucked up old prep school friends being one of those.
I flip off an entire sedan. At least my helmet is tinted and they canât capture a picture of my face. I speed up and weave in front of them. The four cars attempt to block me in, wedging me between their vehicles. I rev the throttle, switch gears, and fucking take off.
I lose sight of them as I approach a gated house, hedges concealing most of it. I punch in the code, and the iron grinds open.
Daisy probably had a harder fucking time getting to her sistersâ place than me. I should have left with her. She lives two floors below me in the same apartment complex. I could have distracted the paparazzi while she rode off in another direction, but I didnât. I left late because I was researching about Ambien, cognitive fucking therapy, other sleeping medicationâanything to solve Daisyâs problem.
And Iâm still at a loss of how to help her sleep without medication.
I park my Ducati on its kickstand and look up at the white house with black shutters, a wraparound porch, rocking chairs, a flag pole on a newly mowed lawn. Itâs cuteâall of them living together. My brother, his girlfriend, Rose and her husband. Iâve shared a house with them before, and itâs not something Iâd repeat. For however much I love my brother, I fucking need space from him sometimes. He likes to test my tolerance. I have a ton, but I worry that if I lived with him for a long time, heâd break me down and Iâd rip him apart.
I never want to hit Lo.
Itâs a line that I fear crossing on a weekly basis.