Page 27 of She Doesn't Have a Clue
Kate frowned at the repeating motif of sea creatures along the chest of her cardigan. “I’ll admit she might have gotten a little… creative with the design. In the book I said they were crabs and lobsters, but I think she went more… mythological.”
“They look like dragons with penises,” Jake said matter-of-factly.
“I thought they were jellyfish,” Kate said, tugging at the hem. “Or maybe octopi?”
“That one’s got horns,” Jake said, tilting his head to the side. “Or maybe teeth?”
“I think it was sweet of Jan, and my mom,” Kate proclaimed, though now that she could see the teeth, she couldn’t unsee the teeth. “Whenever I get stuck on a clue in Loretta, I put it on and the itchiness helps. So.”
“And you need the itchiness now because…”
“Because someone tried to poison Kennedy last night,” Kate said with dramatic flair. She’d never gotten to deliver such a line, just like Loretta, and the dopamine of it lit up her brain like a pinball machine.
“How many of those have you had?” Jake asked, eyeing the cup in her hand.
“Uh, I don’t know. I lost track somewhere around four.”
Jake raised his brows. “Four cups?”
“No, four in the morning.”
“Okay, why don’t I just… take… that,” Jake said, forcibly removing the cup from her hands. “And set it waaaaaay over here. And then you’re going to tell me why you think Kennedy was poisoned.”
Kate was nearly hopping at the chance to explain what she’d figured out hours ago. She’d had to stop herself from waking Jake up several times, reasoning that one of them would need their strength to confront a killer. “Remember that thing you found in Kennedy’s mouth last night? When you were giving her CPR?”
“Yeah,” Jake said, frowning. “What about it?”
Kate moved to the half wall of books and picked up a piece of paper she’d folded to make a pocket for the sliver. And her mother said herorigami obsession at eleven was just a waste of paper. She unfolded it carefully, holding up the sliver to him.
“This is from a rosary pea. It’s a decorative plant—”
“I know what rosary peas are, Kate, they’re all over the place in Australia,” Jake said.
“Then you know that their seeds are highly toxic if ingested,” Kate said. “Ground up into a powder, it’s called abrin. Even a small amount can cause gastric distress, loss of consciousness, and death.”
“But how did that get in Kennedy’s mouth? The oysters?”
Kate shook her head. “Abrin is fast acting. She would have started feeling symptoms within thirty minutes of ingestion. She said the oysters were in her room before the rehearsal dinner, so that’s out. And all the food courses last night were brought out together, so the poison couldn’t have been in her food. No, I thought about it, and I figure the most likely avenue of poisoning was her champagne glass. It would have been an easy target, considering it was the only glass in the room with the wordBrideetched on it. Plus, Loretta noticed that the champagne glass was missing last night, which means the killer must have taken it with them as evidence when Kennedy passed out! So, we find the glass, we find the killer.”
“Did you just sayLorettanoticed the champagne glass was missing?” Jake asked.
Kate blinked a few times, wishing he hadn’t taken her coffee cup. A well-timed sip would have saved her answering his question. She could hardly admit that she’d briefly hallucinated Loretta Starling surveying the crime scene because Kate Valentine couldn’t handle what she’d seen. Then she’d have to admit how often she imagined Loretta in times of stress, and why Loretta seemed so much more capable of handling Kate’s life than Kate herself did.
“I… said… you oughta,” Kate said. “You oughta… have noticed the champagne glass was missing.” Kate shook her head, getting herself back on track. She didn’t have time to psychoanalyze Loretta when a real attempted murder was staring her right in the face. “The point is, someone poisoned Kennedy last night, and they used theexact setup from mylast Loretta novel. Loretta gets hired as bar staff at this swanky wedding on a private island in the Keys, right? Except that the night of the ceremony, the groom is discovered with the bride’s dead body. And everybody thinks he’s pushed her down this grand staircase, right? Except Loretta starts investigating, and she finds a sliver of rosary pea wedged in the bride’s teeth. Somebody poisoned her, and wanted it to look like the groom did it! Somebody who read my book used it as inspiration to plan their own attempt at murder!”
Jake crossed his arms. “You don’t have to sound so gleeful about it.”
“Am I appalled? Of course I am. Am I also a little flattered? Well, I mean, who’s to say? The point is, somebody really did try to poison Kennedy, and they used my book to do it!”
Which meant now Kate had the incredible opportunity to play detective in real life, just like Loretta. And maybe prove that Kate Valentine was just as capable as badass Loretta Starling, and she’d be just as fine no matter what chaos life threw her way.
“But Kennedy wasn’t actually killed last night,” Jake reasoned. “Sure, she said she wasn’t feeling well, and she clearly passed out. But she’s fine now.”
“Exactly!” Kate said, pointing at him with her pen. “Which means whoever started this business isn’t done. They’ll try it again, and we have to catch them before they finish the job.”
“Kate.” Jake sighed, and she readied another defense tactic when he held up his hands. “I believe you.”
“I know it sounds cra—Wait. You believe me?”