Page 46 of The Other Side of Wild
I decided to go get coffee; there’s no Beautiful Pour here. But there’s a quaint little coffee shop that I used to frequent in high school called “Songbird Cafe.” It’s cute; two of the four walls are covered in brick, and the front and back walls are painted white with music notes and songbirds decorating them. The counter is a showcase of their delicious treats, baked goods, and my personal favorite, banana pudding.
Grabbing myself an iced coffee and a cup of pudding, I find a table in the corner, popping my headphones in and leaning my phone against the napkin holder. I jump on my video call with Megan.
“Our first order of business is, are you okay?” I tip my chin up slightly and roll my eyes, earning me a look from my clearly unhappy therapist. “Moving on then... Why did I get a crisis call from Abby at midnight?” I cringe and flick a piece of non-existent lint off my leggings.
“Remember when I told you I thought I had found the guy who would prove all my fears wrong?” I focus my eyes on the store across the street, counting the number of people who walk by so I can keep the tears at bay.
“Oh, Hannah. Let’s hear it.” I ran through the last few weeks, starting with Greyson taking me to his parent’s house, to him showing up at my house mid-panic attack, then from his injury to his ex showing up at the carnival. And finally, what broke me.
I finally mustered up the courage to look at her through the phone, only to see her nodding her head and writing on her notepad. “Meg?” Her head shoots up, eyes widening as she takes in my crumpled face. “Why am I still not enough?”
She blows out a breath so long I feel lightheaded. “I’m going to need you to throw that thought out of the window right now. Abby is right; you’ve both been through the wringer for the past few weeks. Now, that does not excuse his behavior, but I want you to think about him and how he conducts himself when he’s not under duress.” I pull my feet up into the chair I’m sitting in and lay my head across my knees.
The coffee shop is quiet; there are not many people here at this time of the day. The smell of coffee is strong, and it brings me back to our mornings at Beautiful Pour. I smile as I relive those moments that were just for us. The first time he showed up after running in the rain, the numerous planning sessions, and the ex-harassment situation. I miss him, damn it. “Hannah, I know this is big for you. But think of it this way: would your dad have ever been caught driving around looking for you in the middle of the night? Would he be blowing up your phone trying to make sure you’re safe?”
I feel my cheeks heat because the answer to that is a resounding no. Of course, he wouldn’t. The day he checked on me would be the day the world ended. “No, he wouldn’t. But what he said...”
“I know, Hannah. You said he told you when he was feeling overwhelmed that he sometimes snaps, right? It’s not uncommon. It could have been his way of releasing tension that he didn’t know how to get out otherwise. You just happened to be the subject that made him snap, and that could also very well be because you matter to him, and he knew he was already in the wrong with you.”
“But she showed up at the carnival, and she knew who I was even though I’d never met her. Had they talked about me? What am I supposed to think?”
“The easiest way to figure out how to go about this is to talk to him. As scary and as hurtful as it may be.”
Ugh. I hate it when she’s right.
Chapter 25 – Greyson
It’s been five days since I’ve heard from Hannah, five days that I’ve been beating myself up over the fact that I let my anger get the best of me. I let the shame I had been feeling drag me down to a place I never wanted to be. Abby told me she had gone home to stay with her mom but that she hadn’t heard much from her either.
A knock on my door pulls me from my tumultuous thoughts. Was I expecting anyone today? Oh, shoot! Hannah! Hope flares in my chest only to be extinguished when I realize it’s just Tate. Opening the door he pushes past me like he’s got a mission to complete. “Well, hello to you too?” I mutter, closing the door behind him.
“I did it.” He says as he paces my living room like a caged animal. “I told her she wasn’t good enough for you. I made her feel like crap, and then when Kara showed up at the carni–”
“Woah there, little buddy, pump the freaking brakes...” I interrupt, his words barreling into me like a bull in a china shop. “Kara showed upwhere?”
“Umm... The carnival,” What. The. Frick.
“I’m sorry. It sounded like you just said that Kara, the wicked witch of the Pacific Northwest, showed up at the carnival.” Disbelief evident in my voice. How? How did more than a week go by and I didn’t know about this?
“That’s exactly what I said.” he replies softly.
“Why did no one tell me she was there?” I practically growl it at him. He turns his head slightly so his eyes can meet mine; they look so tired, there’s no light there.
“I thought someone would have said something to you. It’s not like I’m the only one who saw her.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, this adds insult to injury. Every decision, every action, every word I’ve said to Hannah over the past few weeks runs through my mind. I don’t know how I’m going to fix this. I guess I should start right here. Looking down at my socks, I dig deep. “I’m sorry, not only to Hannah and the kids but to you. I was a jerk; I know you meant well.”
“I’m disappointed in myself, too. You’re my brother Greyson. We’re supposed to be a team. You helped me through the darkest time in my life; I should be helping you through yours. Instead, I hurt someone you cared about on purpose.”
I sigh, knowing this next part is going to inflate his already large ego. “You were right. I do need to get myself together before I try to fix what I broke with Hannah. But I might need your help.”
His smile is small but genuine. “Say it again so I can record it.” He holds up his phone, his feeble attempt at humor cuts through a bit of the tension. “I’ll help you. On one condition.”
I snort out a laugh, something I can’t even recall doing over the past few weeks. It’s weak, but feels good regardless. “Name it.”
“You have to apologize to Hannah. I know you think that it was just you that made her run, and you feel guilty about it. But you don’t know the full story. Your actions were just the straw that broke the camel’s back.” I tilt my head to the side; what does he know that I don’t?
My heart sinks further into my stomach. “What do you mean? What else happened?”