Page 45 of For the Roses (Claybornes' Brides (Rose Hill) 1)

  Cole expected her to be angry. He was somewhat surprised when she continued to look only mildly curious.

  Douglas was more perceptive. He concluded she wasn’t convinced she was Elliott’s long-lost daughter.

  “Don’t you believe us?” he asked.

  “Do you believe I’m Victoria?” she countered.

  All four brothers nodded. “There is substantial proof,” Adam explained. He then outlined the facts for her once again.

  “How do you feel about meeting your father?”

  “I don’t have a father. I have four brothers.”

  “Don’t be stubborn, Mary Rose,” Adam said. “Think this through. I know it’s a surprise. Of course it is. You have an entire family back in England. You can’t pretend they don’t exist. Your father has been searching the world over for you.”

  “Don’t you want to go and meet him?” Travis asked.

  She lowered her head and stared into her lap. There was so much to think about, she didn’t know where to start.

  “I feel compassion for the man. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for him and his wife to lose their infant daughter.”

  “You were their infant daughter,” Douglas gently reminded her.

  “Yes, so you say,” she whispered. She gripped her hands together and tried to remain composed. “But I don’t know him, Douglas. I feel sorry for him, but I don’t have any love in my heart for him. He isn’t my family. You are. It’s too late to start over.”

  “Aren’t you curious to know what he’s like?” Travis asked.

  She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “Not really,” she admitted. “I don’t understand Harrison’s involvement in all of this. He works for Elliott, doesn’t he?”

  “Yes, he does,” Adam said.

  The truth was slow to settle in her mind, but once it did, she began to feel sick to her stomach. “And you’re telling me that he came to Montana because of the interview I suffered through with the attorney in St. Louis? All of this started because a woman thought I looked like Elliott’s wife?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then . . . Oh, God, then everything Harrison told me was a lie. From the very beginning he had this other motive. He never said a word to me. Not one word. If I am Victoria, as you all seem to believe, why didn’t Harrison tell me?”

  Cole grimaced over the anguish he heard in his sister’s voice. “He didn’t trust any of us for a long time,” he explained.

  “No, he never trusted any of us,” she agreed.

  She seemed to wilt before their very eyes. The desolation on her face made her brothers ache for her.

  “Mary Rose, listen to me,” Adam ordered. “You had been kidnapped. Harrison didn’t know if we were part of the plan to take you from Elliott. We were just boys, yes, and so he discarded the notion that we had planned the kidnapping, but he had to keep silent until he found out who was the mastermind behind it. He was being cautious.”

  “He betrayed me, didn’t he? I’m his wife now, and yet he kept this from me?”

  The younger brothers looked to Adam, hoping he would be able to calm their sister.

  “You and Harrison will have to work this out together,” Adam advised. “I want to know how you feel about going to England to meet your father. Harrison has to leave soon, but I had thought to give you more time to get used to the notion of having a family over there before sending you off. Eleanor could go with you. Mary Rose, don’t shake your head at me. Try to be reasonable about this. You owe it to the man to at least go and meet him. He’s had a lifetime of suffering. Let him see you and know in his heart that you’re all right.”

  “I think maybe we ought to give her some time to think about all of this,” Travis suggested. “She looks kind of stunned.”

  She looked furious to Cole. He knew Harrison’s behavior was the reason she was so upset. She knew and loved him. Her father, on the other hand, was still a foreign concept to her, and one that would take time to get used to before she could decide what she wanted to do about him.

  “Sleep on it, Mary Rose,” Cole said. “You don’t have to do anything until you’re ready to.”

  She was suddenly too tired to think about anything. Her stomach felt like it was on fire, and all she wanted to do was go up to her room, get into her bed, and pretend none of what she’d just learned was true. Like the ostrich she’d once read about, she wanted to bury her head in the sand and let the rest of the world scurry on by without her.

  Tears streamed down her face. Cole handed her his handkerchief before she could ask for it. Lord only knew how many times her brothers had seen her cry before. She didn’t have to hide anything from them or pretend to be someone she wasn’t.

  She stood up, braced her hands on the tabletop, and asked, “Am I supposed to go to London and become a member of a family full of strangers? What do you expect of me? Tell me what the right thing is that you’re so sure I’ll do.”

  “We’ll talk more about this tomorrow, after you’ve had a good night’s rest,” Adam suggested.

  “Harrison is your family now, Mary Rose. You married him, remember? You don’t hate him, do you?” Douglas asked.

  She had to think about his question a long minute before she answered. “No, I don’t hate him. How could I? It appears I don’t even know the man. Oh, God, Douglas, I’m married to a stranger. I don’t know what’s real about him and what isn’t. Was everything a pretense?”

  “Granted, Harrison did have an ulterior motive,” Douglas argued, “but after you’ve had time to think about the situation, I’m sure you’ll realize . . .”

  She cut him off. “I’ll realize he never, ever trusted me, and I sure as certain can’t trust him. He deceived me. He pretended to be someone he wasn’t.”

  She was suddenly too furious to go on. She grabbed Cole’s handkerchief and began to wipe the tears away from her cheeks.

  Had he been pretending to love her? Oh, God, had that been a fabrication too?

  “Harrison wasn’t always pretending,” Cole insisted. “He did turn out to be real inept, didn’t he?”

  “Try not to overreact, Mary Rose,” Travis suggested.

  “Why are all of you defending him?” she demanded.

  “We’ve had time to think about his reasons for proceeding slowly,” Adam explained.

  Travis tried to come up with a suitable parable or comparison that would put it all into perspective for his sister. It took him several minutes to think of something that made a little sense to him. He waited until there was a lull in the discussion, and then said, “Do you remember all of the stories we read to you about the knights who lived back in the middle ages? The baron sometimes killed the messengers who carried bad news. Well, Harrison’s sort of like a messenger. None of what happened was his fault. He didn’t steal you out of your crib and throw you in the trash. I think you should remember that.”

  Cole liked Travis’s comparison. He latched on to it with the tenacity of a child holding on to a piece of forbidden candy.

  “If you had lived back in the middle ages, do you think you would have killed the messenger?”

  She glared at her brother. She thought his question was a stupid one at best.

  “No, I wouldn’t have killed the messenger, but I sure as hell wouldn’t have slept with him either.”

  None of her brothers felt like correcting her unladylike language. They understood how upset she was. If cursing made her feel better, they wouldn’t stop her. Their little sister looked stricken, and devastated.

  “What about your father?” Adam asked her once again.

  “You said we would talk about him tomorrow,” she reminded her brother. “If I do decide to go to England, will all of you go with me?”

  The younger brothers made Adam answer for them. He leaned back in his chair and shook his head. He suddenly felt as weary as an eighty-year-old.

  “We can’t go with you. We’re part of your past.”

  “You’re my family,” she cri

ed out.

  “Yes, of course we are,” Adam hastened to agree. “That won’t ever change.”

  “We aren’t making you go,” Cole said. “We love you, Mary Rose. We could never throw you out.”

  “Then why do I feel as though you are? All of you believe I should go to England, don’t you?”

  “You’ve got to give yourself time to get used to the notion of having another family,” Travis said.

  She nodded agreement. Oh, yes, she needed time. She straightened up, asked to be excused, and ran up to her bedroom. She spent the next hour sitting on the side of her bed, trying to make sense out of her life.

  Her thoughts kept returning to Harrison. She was thankful he wasn’t there now because she didn’t want to have to face him just yet. She didn’t know what she would say to him.

  He had told her she would hate him. She thought about the warning he had given her, and then became furious all over again.

  What in God’s name was she going to do?

  She finally stood up, put on her robe and her slippers, and went downstairs to the library.

  Adam was waiting for her. Even though all of their lives had been turned upside down, some things remained predictable.

  Like little sisters needing to be comforted.

  It was what family was all about.

  She didn’t feel better the following morning. She felt worse. Because she was hurting so inside, she went to Douglas. He always took care of her aches and pains, cuts and bruises, even the ones he couldn’t see.

  Douglas understood her need to get away for a while. He didn’t believe she was being a coward because she didn’t want to see Harrison, and so he took her to the Cohens’ house in Hammond. Eleanor insisted on going with her friend, and since she was fully recovered from her bout of illness, Douglas agreed to let her tag along.

  Eleanor surprised Douglas. She seemed to be genuinely concerned about Mary Rose. The young woman had put her own concerns aside, a first in Douglas’s estimation, and really tried to comfort his sister. She held on to her hand and kept promising her that everything was going to turn out all right.

  When Harrison returned to the ranch, he demanded to know where his bride was. Adam, Cole, and Travis could honestly tell him they didn’t know. Douglas gave him a little more information when he realized how upset and concerned Harrison was. He explained that Mary Rose needed time alone to sort out her feelings, insisted she was safe and being looked after, and then suggested Harrison get on with his plans and leave for England.

  He couldn’t promise Mary Rose would follow. Harrison had expected just such a reaction from his bride, but he was still shaken by the anguish he’d caused her. He desperately wanted her to understand, and yet knew that right then she didn’t understand at all.

  She would come to England though. Of that he was certain. He told Douglas to wire him as soon as Mary Rose and Eleanor were on their way. And then he said his farewells, reminded Adam to take good care of MacHugh, and began his long journey back to England.

  Walking away from the woman he loved was the most difficult thing he’d ever done, and even though the separation was to be temporary, he was still in agony. He felt as though his heart were being torn out of his chest.

  She would come to him. He repeated the belief until it became a chant.

  And he never, ever doubted. His belief in her was every bit as strong as his love for her. She would do the right thing. She was noble and good and kindhearted.

  And she loved him.

  No, he never doubted.

  Mary Rose was both relieved and heartbroken that Harrison had left. She knew she wasn’t being reasonable, but she was too distraught to think straight.

  She refused to discuss her father for a full week. Thoughts of the man kept intruding, however, and once she’d gotten past her own self-pity, she began to feel guilty because she was being coldhearted toward him.

  It took her another week to come to the conclusion that she would have to go and meet him. It was the only decent thing to do, and when she informed her brothers of her decision, she qualified it with the announcement that she had no intention of staying in England long. She planned to visit him, meet his relatives, and then return to her ranch, where she belonged.

  She wouldn’t talk about her plans for a future with Harrison, and her brothers wisely decided not to prod her into making any decision about her husband she might later regret.

  Mary Rose insisted on saying good-bye to Corrie. She made Travis go with her and extracted a promise from him that he would take supplies to Corrie once a week until Mary Rose returned. She would introduce her brother to the woman after she’d visited with her, so that Corrie would know what Travis looked like and wouldn’t try to shoot him.

  Because it was the middle of the week, Corrie was expecting her. Mary Rose called out her greeting from the center of the clearing, and then slowly walked forward. The rocking chair was on the porch, and Mary Rose was pleased to notice that once she started toward the steps, the shotgun was removed from the open window.

  She put the basket of gifts on the windowsill and took her seat. Corrie touched her shoulder, then dropped the book she’d been loaned into Mary Rose’s lap.

  Mary Rose still wasn’t certain if Corrie could read or not, but she didn’t want to insult the woman by asking her outright.

  The basket disappeared from the window. Mary Rose waited a minute, and then said, “There’s another book in the basket, Corrie. If you don’t want to read it, just hand it back out the window.”

  Corrie patted her on her shoulder once again. Mary Rose concluded she did know how to read, and wanted to keep the book.

  It took her a long while to work up enough courage to tell her friend she was leaving for England.

  “Would you like to know how I ended up in Montana Territory?” she began.

  She didn’t expect an answer, of course, and proceeded to tell her friend all about how her brothers had found her in a basket in New York City. She didn’t go into a lot of unnecessary details, and when she started to talk about her father and how she had to go to England to meet him, she began to cry.

  While Corrie gently stroked her shoulders, Mary Rose confided all her fears to the woman.

  “Why do I feel guilty because I don’t feel anything more than compassion for the man? I don’t want to go and meet him, but I know I have to, Corrie. I’m being terribly selfish, but I like my life now. I hate having it disrupted. Besides, I already have a family. I don’t want a new one. I know it’s wrong for me to feel this way, and deep inside, I’m so scared. What if none of them like me? What if I disappoint my father? I don’t know how to be a proper English lady. They say my name is really Victoria. I’m not Victoria though, I’m Mary Rose. And how will I ever be able to go on with Harrison? What kind of marriage can we have without trust in one another? Oh, Corrie, I wish I could stay here. I don’t want to leave.”

  Mary Rose continued to weep for several more minutes, and then reached up to wipe the tears away from her face.

  Corrie grabbed hold of her hand and held on to it. The comfort the woman was giving her made her weep all the more. She thought about all the terrible pain and anguish Corrie had had to endure and how foolish and inconsequential her own problems were in comparison. Corrie had watched her husband and her son die. And yet she had endured.

  “You give me strength, Corrie,” she whispered.

  It wasn’t empty praise, for the longer she thought about the dear woman’s suffering, the more her own life was put into perspective. Mary Rose knew she would do what had to be done, and regardless of the outcome, she would also endure.

  “I’m very fortunate to have you for a friend, Corrie.”

  Travis let out a shrill whistle. He was letting Mary Rose know that it was time for them to leave.

  “Eleanor and I will go to the Cohens’ house in Hammond the day after tomorrow,” she told her friend. “They’re going to Boston for a family reunion, and we’ll travel

with them. Mr. Cohen will make certain we get on the right ship to England, and if all my plans go smoothly, I’ll be back home before the first winter snow falls.

  “Travis is going to bring you supplies while I’m away. I’ve told you all about my brother, remember? He won’t ever come closer than the middle of the clearing,” she hurried to add when her friend squeezed her hand tight. “May I call to him now? He’ll stand by the trees, so you can get a good look at him. I don’t want you to be startled when he comes here, and he promised me he would always call out to you so you can watch him.”

  Corrie finally relaxed her grip. Mary Rose shouted to her brother. Travis appeared on the far side of the clearing and waved to his sister. The curtain obstructed his view of Corrie, but he noticed Mary Rose was holding her hand.

  “Storm’s coming, Mary Rose. We ought to leave now,” he called out. “Good day to you, Corrie,” he added before he turned around and walked away.

  Mary Rose finally said her good-bye. She turned and kissed Corrie’s hand, and then stood up.

  “I’m going to miss you,” she whispered. “God and Travis will take good care of you, Corrie. Have faith in both of them.”

  Mary Rose clutched the book in her arms and slowly walked away. The rush of the rising wind mingled with the call of an impatient cardinal and all but muffled the sound of a woman softly weeping inside the cabin.

  January 2, 1870

  Dear Mama Rose,

  Today I am ten years old. Do you remember Adam wrote to tell you that they found papers in my basket and all my brothers think that because the words written on the top of the page said a baby girl was born on the second day of January, and since I was the only baby girl in the basket, they think it must be me.

  I’m very lucky to have such a nice family. Travis is making me a birthday cake for supper, and all my brothers made presents for me. Adam said next year he would make sure they got something store bought for me too. Won’t that be nice?