Page 28 of Road to Nowhere (Road to Nowhere 1)

  I’d hate to be the soldiers around when he read it.

  My parents’ let me get my driver’s license, which was a complete shock to me. I guess they were trying to let go a little. Seeing it for what it was. Not sure if it was from being pregnant or what, but maybe my baby made them realize I wasn’t a little girl anymore. Plus, I’d need a way to get around with the baby.

  Mom took me to the OBGYN a few days after they found out I was pregnant, and the doctor only confirmed what I already knew. She cried, I cried, I felt like I never stopped crying. Dad didn’t say a word as he stood there, but Mom said he would eventually come around. He was just being stubborn and bullheaded, and I would always be his baby girl no matter what. It would take him time to warm up to the idea that his baby was having a baby.

  I hated being the reason that there was so much tension in my house again. Which was why I started spending more time at the beach or at the train tracks. I would come here from time to time, riding my bike when things were at their worst in life. I’d picture myself hopping on a train and never looking back. Getting away from it all. Sort of like I envisioned doing right now. Disappearing for a minute. For a moment. My life couldn’t get any more complicated if I tried.

  The rumbling of a motorcycle pulled me away from my thoughts. I sat up, looking behind me, watching Creed pull onto the grass close by. I hadn’t seen him since the day my dad tried to raise hell at his house, three weeks ago. Thank God, Giselle knew where he lived, or who knows what else would have happened. He leaned his bike on the kickstand, took off his helmet, and looked down, locking eyes with me. Shooting an intense glare that left me speechless. His gaze speaking volumes without saying a word as he sat there on his bike, the two of us staring intently at each other.

  For the first time, it pained me to have him look at me the way he was as if he was seeing me with different eyes. No longer the baby girl he thought I was but the woman who was carrying his brother’s child. I knew this would change things between us and I hated that more than anything. For the last month, I thought about how our first encounter would go down. What I would say, what he would reply, what would come of our conversation. I didn’t want a fight. I just wanted him to understand.

  Never imagining it would be this hard.

  When his stare shifted to my hand that was still on my belly, I swear I saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes, like he was contemplating things he felt he shouldn’t.

  “I didn’t do it on purpose,” I whispered loud enough for him to hear, focusing on my belly. Needing to get it out. “I didn’t even know where we were going until my friend, Jill, pulled up to the clubhouse. As soon as I saw the men wearing the same cut as yours”—nodding to it—“I thought you might be there. It was part of the reason I got out of the car.”

  He didn’t make a sound, listening to every word I was saying.

  “We walked inside, instantly getting sucked into the chaos. One minute, Jill was next to me, the next she was gone. I’m sure you know what it’s like. Those parties. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, wishing you were there with me. Showing me your world. I was uncomfortable and I wanted to leave, but I left my phone in Jill’s car. I tried to find her everywhere and I ended up drifting into the basement. This guy, Jigsaw came onto me…”

  He narrowed his eyes at me, holding back his temper for what I just said. His hands white-knuckling his handlebar.

  “I guess you can say your brother saved me. He was nice. I felt comfortable and safe with him. Why do you think that is, Creed?” I paused, looking up at him. “He’s a part of you. I didn’t know it then, but he’s your brother and there was something about him that was so familiar, even though I’d never met him before. I guess that’s why I told him he could call me Pippin because I wanted to maybe pretend it was you. I know that sounds so stupid and immature, but I missed you…” I explained, my voice breaking.

  Dreading the next part of what I was about to say, knowing it would only further his pain. Hurting him more than I already had.

  “He kept me away from the madness, we went out to his truck and drank way more than I should have. I just wanted to stop thinking about you. I just wanted to forget. I just wanted one night where I could be a normal teenager doing what everyone else does. I know I took it too far, but as much as I hate to admit this, I thought maybe if I wasn’t a virgin anymore you’d want me,” I breathed out, blinking away the tears. “One thing led to another, and we ended up in your room. He didn’t know I was a virgin until…” Shaking away the memory, I took a deep breath. “He was good to me, but none of that matters because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Wishing it was you. Even after you pushed me away—rejecting me, being cruel—I still wanted it to be you.”

  He was the first to break our connection, staring out in front of him, staggered by my confession. Opening his mouth but quickly shutting it, struggling with what he needed to say. Biting his tongue with what he wanted to say. He took a deep breath, reaching into his cut and pulling out his cigarettes. Lighting one up, bringing it to his lips, inhaling half of it into his lungs before letting it slowly seep out of his nose and mouth.

  “You’re no better than the club whores,” he blew out. “Sleepin’ with a man to get somethin’ in return. You got somethin’ aiight, and it wasn't me. How's it feel to be knocked up and fuckin’ alone?”

  I cringed, my heart visibly breaking in front of him. Subconsciously placing my hand on my chest, I stood up on wobbly legs. His words cutting into my skin like tiny knives all over, in ways I didn’t think were possible. After pouring my soul out, after everything I just told him, that was his response. If that wasn’t a slap in the damn face, then I don’t know what was.

  I stepped back, away from him, shaking my head with wide eyes, my mouth open. I couldn’t stand the sight of him for another second.

  He wasn’t the man I knew.

  The man I thought.

  I immediately turned to leave, not making it three steps until he caught me by the wrist and spinning me around to face him again.

  “We ain’t done. Don’t ever walk away from me. You understand me?”

  “Fuck you! Let go!” I struggled to get away from him, but he wasn’t having it. He grabbed my other wrist, tugging me forward, making me lose my footing. Slamming me into his hard chest.

  Our crazed stares never wavered from one another.

  “That’s what ya want, yeah? Fuckin’ provokin’ me. This what gets you wet? Me manhandlin’ you?”

  “No!” I lied, knowing he knew me all too well.

  He snidely grinned. “Did my brother even make you come, Pippin? Did he even know how to touch your sinful fuckin’ body? Your temptin’ little pussy?” he growled close to my mouth.

  “You're an asshole!”

  “Call it like I see it, sweetheart.”

  I cocked my head to the side, looking deep into his eyes. Not faltering. “Yeah, Creed. He made me come. So. Damn. Hard… at least one of you has the balls to finish what he starts.”

  His eyes dilated, gripping onto the back of my neck he crashed his mouth onto mine. Clutching onto the side of my face with his other hand and biting my bottom lip, exactly the way I had fantasized him doing since our encounter in the guest bedroom. His hands fell to my ass, gripping me tight, picking me up in one swift motion, and causing my dress to ride up my thighs. Making me straddle his waist, he walked us backward.

  My senses heightened, taking in the scent of cigarettes and whiskey as he plunged his rough tongue into my mouth. Suddenly realizing he had been drinking, but I didn’t care.

  The taste of him was all around me.

  The memory of him didn’t even compare to real life.

  He straddled his bike with me now on his lap, yanking me closer, molding us into one person and kissing me as if his life depended on it. I moaned into his mouth, he groaned into mine as he fisted my hair by the nook of my neck. His other hand glided down the side of my breast to the seam of my panties.

  “

Please,” I begged against his lips.

  He roughly jerked my hair back to look into my eyes. He was fighting an internal battle I wanted to win so fucking bad.

  I rocked my hips, pleading with him through my lust-filled glare. Baiting him. Tempting him. Doing whatever I could for him to touch me. When I felt his fingers slide my panties over, gliding them into my wet folds.

  I swallowed hard.

  “Fuck, you’re so wet. I did this to you. Me,” he growled, continuing to work my clit.

  I leaned into kiss him again, but he tore my hair back harder, wanting me to stay right where I was, spread wide open for him.

  Only him.

  It was then I realized he wanted to watch me fall over the edge, and I swear I could have come from the intense, predatory, loving way he was staring at me, alone.

  Feeling him deep within my core.

  He rubbed me back and forth, and my body shuddered. I wanted to come so bad. Knowing it wasn’t just what his skilled fingers were doing against my heat, but because it was him.

  I was with Creed.

  The man I’d loved since I was nine-years-old.

  He became firmer and more demanding, pushing two fingers into my opening, causing a shameless moan to escape my mouth. His lips parted like he was feeling everything I was when all he was doing was watching me come apart for him. His fingers working me over, finding a spot inside of me, creating this longing, this intensity, this mind-blowing explosion all over my body. Every last inch of my skin felt what he was creating, especially my heart.

  “Feels good, yeah?” he raspingly urged as I continued to try to keep my fluttering eyes open.

  “Yes,” I finally whimpered.

  Completely at his mercy.

  “Here?” he taunted, pushing harder against my g-spot.

  My back arched over the gas tank, my dress riding up, exposing his sweet torture. Allowing him to go faster and harder. I felt warm all over with the uncontrollable need for something to happen that would take away this ache that he was building.

  Higher and higher.

  When I felt his thumb manipulate my nub as his fingers continued to rub my sweet spot, I thought I was going to die.

  Right then and there.

  “Come on my fingers, Mia. Wanna feel your tight, sweet fuckin’ pussy.”

  That was my undoing.

  My body erupted in a fit of spasms, my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and my breathing hitched. Panting out his name. He pulled me close, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing me. Drowning out the loud, foreign sounds coming out of my mouth.

  Biting on my bottom lip again, he ordered, “Eyes on me.”

  I opened my hooded gaze, trying to catch my bearings.

  He took a long, hard look at me and spoke with conviction, “Only I can make you fuckin’ come like that. And now I’m gonna make you come on my cock.”

  My eyes widened as he leaned back, unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants, watching only me as his cock sprung free.

  I slightly gasped.

  He grinned, taking in the look on my face. “Don't worry, darlin’, I’ll start off slow.”

  He grabbed my hips, lifting me up, positioning himself at my opening. “Say the word, Mia. Gonna let me in? Cuz once I start, I won't fuckin’ stop.” Nudging the head of his dick in a little further, almost making me come undone from the skin-on-skin contact, savoring in the feeling only he could ever give me.

  “Yes...” I panted.

  That was all the convincing he needed. He eased me down on his shaft, letting out a groan when he was balls deep inside me. Allowing me to get used to the size of his cock.

  Holding what was now his between his hands, he placed his forehead on mine.

  “Fuck, Mia. So fuckin’ tight, baby girl.”

  His hands made their way down to my hips once again, guiding my movements. Finding a rhythm as he drove his cock in and out of me. I couldn't take it anymore. I leaned back, relishing in what was happening between us. Overpowered by the feelings he stirred all around me. It was all I ever wanted, needed, finally feeling complete. Allowing the familiar ache to take over. He grabbed the sides of my face, bringing his lips back over to mine, kissing me with so much passion.

  So much love.

  So much everything.

  He. Wanted. Me.

  “No more bullshit between us. You want to be kissed, touched, fucked,” he groaned against my lips. “Then I fuck you. I’m claimin’ you, Pippin. You’re fuckin’ mine.”

  And I was.

  I always had been.

  CREED

  She smiled, looking up at me with mischievous eyes as I helped her off my bike. Tucking my cock back into my jeans, I buckled up and adjusted myself on the seat.

  “Why you smilin’?” I asked, arching an eyebrow, knowing all too well why she was.

  She threw her arms around my neck, softly kissing my mouth again. Murmuring, “I love you.”

  “Pippin—”

  “I know you love me,” she interrupted. “I’m not expecting you to say it back. As much as I wanted this to happen between us, Creed, and you know I did, more than anything.” Looking at me with so much worry in her eyes. “I’m carrying your brother’s child, and I don’t ever want you to think of you and me or what just happened between us as a mistake. It wasn’t. Even though Noah and I were never a couple, we don’t even know each other, it was an accident… I just can’t help feeling bad. You know I’m not this girl… right? Please tell me you know I’m not one of those club whores.”

  I placed her face between my hands, peering at her adoringly, the way I had wanted to since the moment I gave her that first kiss. Mia had always been mine. From the second I watched her jump out of her mom’s car, pigtails and all.

  She was mine.

  “You’re the furthest fuckin’ thing from those whores. Trust me, darlin’, can’t even come close to you. Shit happens. I know that more than anyone. Can’t keep pushin’ you away. Look what it cost me.” I nodded toward her stomach. “I fucked up. Won’t do that again. I know who you are, Mia Ryder. From the second I saw you, and I’ve loved ya every day since for it.”

  She beamed, tears falling down her sweet face.

  “I lost one woman cuz I thought I was doin’ right by her. Shit… I almost lost you. Not makin’ the same mistake twice. Want you on the back of my bike, Pippin, ya feel me?”

  She nodded.

  And I meant every word.

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  CREED

  Three hits of the gavel sounded, bringing church into session.

  “As you know, Sinner’s Rejoice’s Prez and I have called a truce. It’s taken over seven fuckin’ years to get to this point, but we’ve come to an agreement. They stay out of our territory, and we’ll stay out of theirs. They’re no longer a threat,” Pops declared, glancing all around the room.

  “Just like that?” I replied, narrowing my eyes at him.

  “You callin’ me a liar?”

  “Been gone a long time, old man. And up until I was discharged, shit was still goin’ down. Find it shockin’ is all.”

  “I take care of my club. Have been since before you even left my cock, Creed. I know what I’m doin’. You let me worry about our alliances.”

  “I’m Vice Prez, if you remember correctly. Got a right to voice my goddamn opinion, and I will,” I rasped, leaning into the table. Resting my elbows on the wood. “Unless I’m put to ground. Then and only then, I’ll be shit outta luck.”

  The air was so thick between us. It had been since the day I told him I was enlisting in the Army, but even more so now that I was back. The Prez didn’t scare me any more than my old man ever did. I’d been through too much shit to give a damn about him any longer.

  “Yeah?” I mocked, leaning back in my chair.

  “Anyone else got anythin’ to say? Speak now, or shut the fuck up,” he added, knowing damn well no one would cross him. “That’s what I thought.”

  The meeti

ng carried on for the next half hour while regular business was handled. After Pops sounded the gavel, dismissing us, I walked back to my room to grab my phone. As I walked in, I heard it buzzing on the counter, grabbing it never expecting who the message would be from.

  Unknown number, I swiped open the text.

  You obviously haven’t seen any of the files I gave you. Get your head out of your ass, son. I’ll do you a favor this one time, but next time I hand you a golden fucking ticket, you better cash it in.

  My phone vibrated again, indicating I had another text message.

  “The fuck?” I whispered to myself, looking at a photo of my mother when she was younger, sitting in the arms of a man who wasn’t my father.

  “You headed over to your ma’s?” Diesel asked from the doorway, bringing my attention back to him.

  I clicked off the screen, placing my cell phone in my back pocket. Walking out of the room with him following behind me. “Naw, gonna see her tomorrow. Just got back, I’m fuckin’ exhausted.”

  Pops had me traveling all over for the club, much like before. I’d been over in the Arizona chapter for the last three weeks.

  “Oh, you’re not goin’ to the dinner?”

  “Dinner?” I repeated, confused.

  “Yeah. Rebel was sayin’ some shit earlier that your ma invited his girl over for dinner.”

  “His girl?” I jerked back.

  “Yeah. His baby mama. She’s like five months along now, right?”

  I shook my head, swearing under my breath, pissed as shit no one told me what was going on, especially Mia. She knew I was coming back today.

  “Why you lookin’ at me like that? You haven’t fuckin’ mentioned her. I figured you were over it. Don’t fuckin’ shoot the messenger!” he yelled out behind me.

  I hauled ass out the door, jumping on my bike and getting the hell out of there. Speeding home to find out what the hell was going on. Why neither one of them felt the need to mention dinner. It didn’t take me long until I pulled into the driveway, seeing Mia’s black Jeep parked on the road out front.