Page 22 of Road to Nowhere (Road to Nowhere 1)

  He still didn’t budge. “Pippin, he spent the whole fuckin’ night starin’ at your tits. All he wanted from ya was your pussy,” he vulgarly blurted out.

  Before I knew what I was doing, my palm connected with his cheek. Smacking him right across the face. “You don’t get to talk to me like that!”

  His head cocked back from the impact. I ignored the stinging pain that radiated through my hand. Pounding my fists into his chest. Finally losing all resolve. Not caring who was watching us outside the building.

  He took it all.

  “All I wanted was for him to kiss me! To experience what every other girl has already done! You took that away from me, you asshole! You had no right! You ruined my fairy-tale ending!” I didn’t let up on his chest, hitting him harder and harder again.

  Finally, over the fact that I wasn’t getting anywhere with him, I stopped. Glaring deep into his amused gaze.

  He nonchalantly brought his cigarette up to his lips, took a long drag, blew the smoke above my head and flicked it to the ground.

  I never expected what happened next.

  Never in a million years…

  He stepped forward, closing the small distance between us. His rough hands reached up and grabbed ahold of my cheeks. The smell of cigarettes, beer, and mint immediately assaulted my senses as he pulled me up to his level. Leaning in, laying his lips on mine.

  He. Kissed. Me.

  My eyes shut tightly, my breathing hitched, and my arms fell to my sides in defeat. All the fight in me was gone. I had no clue what to do, but stand there and feel what I had wanted for so long. His lips were rough but smooth against mine. My heart drummed so fast, I swear he could hear it. My knees went weak the longer his lips stayed on me. It was the most overwhelming, mind blowing, consuming feeling I’d ever felt in my entire life. There would be no coming back from this. Ruining me for every other boy that may come along.

  As if reading my mind, he slowly parted his lips, pulling me in closer. Placing my shaking hands on his chest, I parted mine, following his lead. Matching the same rhythm he set.

  His tongue touched my lips, leaving the craziest sensation in its wake. I pulled back my tongue, and he took it as an open invitation to gently push his into my awaiting mouth. His tongue sought out mine, turning the kiss into something more than I knew he intended it to be.

  As if he was getting lost in me as well.

  No words could come close to describing what was happening in that moment between us. The feelings he stirred deep within my core matched my emotions with each stroke of his tongue. Feelings I didn’t think were possible to experience. That I didn’t even think existed.

  I never wanted him to stop kissing me.

  A soft moan escaped my mouth as he pecked my lips one last time, gradually pulling away from me. Leaving me breathless and wanting more. Incoherent thoughts ran rapidly in my mind.

  When my eyes fluttered open, he was grinning down at me, not removing his hands from the sides of my face. His amused stare hadn’t changed, if anything it was worse.

  He murmured against my lips, “Gave you your first kiss, now stop fuckin’ bitchin’.” Softly pecking me again before pulling away.

  Taking everything I ever wanted.

  Him.

  TWENTY-ONE

  MIA

  “Are you okay? You haven’t been yourself since your date. Spill,” Giselle insisted, walking back into the living room at her apartment. Having a seat next to me on the couch with popcorn and the remote control in hand.

  She invited me over for a much needed girls’ night, full of chick flicks, mani and pedis, and popcorn. Mason was going to be out for the night, he was leaving in a few days to go back to base and wanted to see some of his old friends.

  “I’m fine. I promise,” I lied.

  “You know, just because I’m your brother’s girlfriend doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me, Mia. Maybe I can help.” She looked over at me.

  “I know. It’s just… well… I’m a little confused,” was all I could get out.

  “Is this about your date?”

  I nodded, biting my lip.

  “What happened? When we came out from the movie, Rick was gone, and you and Creed looked like you were… I don’t even know. Fighting? I don’t blame you if you laid into him. What an asshole. It was almost like he—”

  Her phone rang from the table, Mason’s face flashed on the screen, interrupting her train of thought. Stopping her from saying what I knew she was about to say. I had never been so grateful for my brother as I was in that second. She picked it up and walked into the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

  “Your brother is drunkity-drunk-drunk,” she chuckled, walking back into the room. Throwing her phone back on the coffee table. “Speaking of the devil, I guess Creed met up with him at the bar. He’s coming home with Mason. Going to crash in the other guest room. No worries, it won’t interrupt our girl time. Who knows what hour of the night they’ll crawl in. They’re both shameless.”

  I nodded again, not knowing what to say. Shocked at the fact that I would get to see him again. I hadn’t seen him since he kissed me. I couldn’t tell if he was avoiding me on purpose or if he was just being Creed. Going long absences before I saw him again had been our relationship since day one.

  “Anyway, what was I saying?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. “Oh yes! The date. I’m so sorry, Mia. I tried really hard not to let that go down. I had no idea they’d turn into complete assholes and terrorize the kid. But you know your brother. He does what he wants and doesn’t give two shits about what other people think.”

  “I know. How are you guys?” I replied, trying to change the subject and take the heat off me.

  She sighed, “It depends on what day you ask me. Today, we are great. Yesterday, I wanted to kill him.”

  “Yeah…”

  “I love Mason. I love him with all my heart. I’ve loved him ever since the first time I laid eyes on him. I wanted to marry—”

  “Wanted to?” I interrupted, narrowing my eyes.

  “What?”

  “You just said you wanted to marry him. Not want.”

  She frowned. “I did?”

  “Yeah…”

  She looked around the room like she would find the answers written on the walls or something. “I… wow…” she breathed out, looking at me embarrassed. “I’m just… I guess… I mean… I’m tired of putting my life on hold for him.”

  I jerked back, surprised by her revelation.

  “I feel like I have given so much of myself to him, and it’s never been mutual. I’m still bitter that he enlisted in the damn Army without even talking to me first. I feel like he constantly puts me in second place. We haven’t even talked about his discharge. What’s going to happen when he’s done serving? He has less than a year left. I have a feeling in my gut, Mia… he wants to re-enlist, and that’s why we haven’t talked about what’s next. If he’s going to battle for the United States again, he’s going to have a battle with me.”

  I wouldn’t be surprised if my brother became a permanent soldier. I had overheard some conversations he had with our parents, and I could tell he really loved his military life. He had no regrets and this wasn’t some phase for him.

  “If he goes. I don’t think I can sit around and wait for him anymore,” she confessed, looking down at her hands. “Please don’t tell him I—”

  “I promise. He won’t hear it from me.”

  Looking back up at me, she smiled. Her worry immediately subsided. “So, back to you. What happened that night?”

  “I don’t even know,” I blurted, speaking the truth.

  “I liked Rick, he seemed like a nice kid. Has he tried to talk to you at school or anything?”

  “Not really, but I’ve been avoiding him. Too embarrassed to show my face.”

  “Do you like him? You know… like really like him? Butterflies in the stomach, makes your heart skip a beat, sweaty palms?”

&n

bsp; I shrugged. “I’ve felt that before.” Just not with Rick, I wanted to say.

  “Listen, I’m only telling you this stuff because I’d rather you hear it from me and not some teenage hussies. Boys—men in general—are stupid, Mia. Their bottom head monopolizes their thoughts. I think you’re old enough now to realize that. It’s not like what you see in the movies by any means. I got lucky with Mason. But for a lot of my girlfriends, the first time they had sex it was awful for them. Most guys don’t know what they’re doing, especially at your age. It’s all about them. Totally selfish.”

  “But older guys do? They have experience right?” I found myself asking, turning beet red.

  She grinned. “Rick’s older, right?”

  “He’ll be seventeen next month,” I answered, even though Rick was the furthest guy from my mind.

  “Do you want to do any of those things, Mia? You can tell me.”

  My eyes widened.

  “Oh my God! You do!” She got on her knees all excited. “With Rick?”

  “Maybe,” I lied, just to see where she was going with this.

  “I would never tell you to throw yourself at a guy, that’s just slutty. But if he likes you and you like him and you feel like he’s a good guy, then date him. Have fun and take your time.”

  “Is sex and doing things… that important in a relationship? If I didn’t do things, would an experienced guy bother with me?” I questioned, needing to know.

  It’s not like I could talk to anyone else about these things. Especially my mom, she was a saint. Of course, we talked about sex and stuff, but she just said I should wait until I was married. I guess that was every mom’s advice to their daughters.

  Giselle was only twenty-four. She was closer to my age and knew more about the way things happened now, compared to when my parents were growing up. It was nice to have someone to finally understand what I was going through and feel as though they weren’t trying to baby me by telling me what I could and couldn’t do.

  I appreciated her honesty. She felt like the big sister I never had.

  “I wouldn’t say it was the most important thing but it’s a big part of a relationship. It can be scary, but if it’s the right person then it could be amazing. Sharing yourself with someone you love, it’s a bond that nothing could come close to. It’s a way to show someone you love them without having to say the words out loud. That being said, having sex with someone for the first time is a big deal, so before you make that leap make sure it’s for you, not them. Make sense?”

  “Yes. Actually, that really does make a lot of sense.”

  I needed to show a certain someone my love.

  She beamed. “You better tell me if something happens, Mia. And if it leads to something else then you always use protection. I don’t care if he says his cock will shrivel up and die if he uses a condom. You make him wrap it up,” she demanded in a stern tone.

  I laughed. “Okay. I promise.”

  “Good. Now let’s watch this movie.”

  We spent the rest of the night immersing ourselves in romance movies that only fueled my desire for a certain tattooed, broody, handsome man. We started watching Pearl Harbor, one of Giselle’s favorite movies. She said she loved the love story, but I knew she had a secret crush on Josh Harnett, a handsome soldier fighting for the love of his life.

  The irony was not lost on me.

  The further we got into the movie, the more it really resonated with me. I always knew Creed could get hurt, but I always imagined he was made of steel and nothing could bring him down. I couldn’t have been more wrong, realizing very quickly that life could change in an instant, and he would never truly know how I felt if he left in a few days and never came back.

  Making everything Giselle said that much more real for me.

  We went to bed a little after three in the morning. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair, taking a good look at myself in the mirror. Debating if I was honestly going to do what I had been thinking about all night.

  I jumped when I heard the front door open and some commotion. Peeking into the hall to see what was going on.

  “Where’s my girl?!” Mason called out, stumbling around, barely remaining upright. “There she is…”

  “Oh, God! How much did you guys drink? You reek of nothing but booze and cigarettes,” Giselle asked, walking into the foyer.

  “I’m gonna make you feel so good,” Mason rasped, pulling her into his arms. Causing her to smile and laugh.

  “Okay, Romeo, let me take you to bed. Goodnight, Creed. You know where the guestroom is.”

  I peered over at Creed who was looking at them the same way I was. Maybe it was the alcohol, but for the first time, I saw him look at them as though something was missing in his life, too.

  Love.

  I slowly backed away so he wouldn’t see me. Leaving all the doubt and hesitation at the door.

  I walked into his room.

  CREED

  After loverboy and his girl said goodnight and made their way to Giselle’s room, I went in the opposite direction toward the guest room on the other end of the apartment. I’d spent many nights in that room. Her apartment was huge for living there by herself, but her daddy could fucking afford it.

  I walked into the bedroom, not bothering with the lights. The moon gave off a soft glow from the balcony doors. I stripped down and threw my cut and clothes on the armchair and headed for the en-suite bathroom. I took a quick shower, needing to wash away the night. I hated going to bed stinking of bar stench, and cheap perfume. I’d spent too many nights going to sleep in God-knows-what covering my fucking uniform when I was in Afghanistan. I found myself showering several times a day when I was on leave, needing to feel clean at all hours of the day.

  I threw my boxer briefs back on, opening the bathroom door to walk onto the balcony and smoke a cigarette. Taking in the view of the ocean, questioning life. Remembering how many soldiers’ lives had fallen at the hands of the enemy. Wondering which one of those bullets was really meant for me. Why good men like Andrews with a wife and kid were ripped from this world, when scum like me was left to roam free? Question after question plagued my thoughts as I stood there smoking.

  Every thought more unforgiving than the last.

  I took a deep breath, finishing off my cigarette, flicking it off the balcony. Opening the slider, I walked back into the room. Deciding at the last second to close the drapes, hoping to make it dark enough so I could make myself sleep in tomorrow. Enjoying the last bit of freedom I still had. My body was so used to being up at the crack of dawn that I never slept for more than a few hours a night.

  I pulled back the covers, getting into bed. Hoping sleep would come fast, but knowing it wouldn’t, it never did. Propping my head up on a few pillows, I laid there for a few seconds, allowing my mind to process what the fuck was going on, to prepare myself for the shit-storm that was about to go down. I switched on the soft recess lighting right above my head.

  Still gazing up at the ceiling, I murmured, “What are you doin’ in my bed, Pippin?”

  I knew she had been lying there the entire time. I was trying to avoid the inevitable of having this conversation with her.

  As soon as she pulled back the covers, I jumped out of the bed. Resisting the urge to look in her direction, knowing exactly what I’d fucking see. Throwing my jeans on, not bothering to button them, I sat on the armchair in the dark corner of the room. My face void of any emotion as I finally looked her way. Taking in the fucking vixen sitting in front of me on the center of the bed for the first time. Only dressed in her pink bra and panties. Leaving very little to the imagination.

  She looked fucking sinful with her creamy white skin glowing in the moonlight, her long, brown, wavy hair that framed her beautiful face cascading down her back. Making her look much more mature than the pigtail-wearing Pippin I’d grown to adore. With a predatory regard, my gaze continued to travel down, my eyes roaming over her tits that were popping out of the lacy fabri

c of her bra. Slightly showing the outline of her nipples. To her slender, hourglass waist, down to the top of her matching panties that barely covered her pussy.

  “Fucking A,” I drawled out, locking eyes with her. “Not gonna ask again.”

  “I wanted to see you,” she coaxed, peering up at me through her lashes. Gazing at me in a way I knew all too fucking well.

  “Coulda’ seen me in the mornin’. Ain’t right for you to be waitin’ in a man’s bed. Especially mine. If your bro—”

  “He’s busy with Giselle, and he’s never checked on me a day in his life. I don’t see him starting tonight. Plus, they can’t hear us. They’re on the other side of the apartment. You have nothing to worry about,” she reasoned.

  “Find that hard to believe,” I scoffed out, shaking my head.

  “Did you know I was spending the night, too?”

  “No.”

  “Then how did you know I was in here?”

  “I’m trained to,” I simply stated, trying like hell to keep my eyes focused on her face and not her tempting fucking body.

  “Like you could feel me?”

  “Somethin’ like that.”

  She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. I could physically feel her conflicting emotions radiating off her in waves as we sat there in silence. Knowing deep down she was up to no good.

  I wish I could tell you I didn’t expect what would happen next.

  But I’d be lying.

  Though nothing could have prepared me for this moment.

  I should have stopped her.

  I should have told her no.

  I should have done something, anything…

  Except allow her to close the distance between us. She slowly, provocatively, slid off the bed. Making her way toward me, each step precise and calculated while her luscious hips swayed, never missing a fucking beat. Only stopping when she was a foot in front of me, yearning for me to truly take her in. When my stare didn’t leave her face, I didn’t have to fight the internal battle for very long.