Page 19 of El Santo (Saint-Sinner 1)

I was over to her in one stride, sitting on the coffee table in front of her. I placed my hands on the sides of her face and gazed deep into her eyes underneath our stars. Finally uttering my fucking truth to her. “I came here to wish you a happy birthday, to give you your gift, and to tell you I fucking love you, Muñeca. I will always, no matter what, love you. I need you to remember that. You think you could do that for me?”

  Her eyes followed my every word. They were my undoing, filled with so much love for me still, but in one quick movement, she grabbed my wrists, pulled my hands off the sides of her face, and stood. Walking away, leaving me sitting there wondering what the fuck just happened.

  With a cold stare, she instantly spewed, “Who the fuck do you think you are? You think you can just show up here one day and…and what, Damien? Pick up where we left off?” She glared at me, slowly shaking her head in a calculated motion. “Like we’re just going to go back to the time you looked at me like someone you used to know? Or worse, someone you didn’t?”

  I stood, abruptly walking over to her. She didn’t cower down when my large, muscular frame overshadowed hers as I pressed her against the wall. Closing her in with my arms at the sides of her face, needing to prove my fucking point. Her resolve shattered when I leaned forward, slowly moving my lips over to her ear. My hot breath igniting tingles to run down her spine. I whispered, “I miss you. I love you. I’m in love with you.” One by one her reactions radiated off her skin, causing all sorts of other sensations. I had my girl right where I wanted her.

  Vulnerable.

  I could feel her tense frame tremble at my mercy. Knowing damn well I was at her mercy too.

  It didn’t take much for my mouth to be close to hers. I pulled her closer to me by the nook of her neck until I could feel her unstable breath against my lips. Assaulting every last fiber of my fucking being.

  I groaned inches away from her lips, “Does this feel like someone who doesn’t know you?”

  “You can’t—”

  “I can’t do what? Eh? Tell me, Muñeca? What the fuck can’t I do? Because I’m not the one who’s pretending like they don’t know every last thing about me.” I suddenly grabbed her wrists and brought them above her head. Holding them hostage in my tight grasp while I softly gripped onto the front of her neck. My thumb and index finger clutched over her pulse that heightened with my touch. “All I’ve ever done is try to protect you. From Emilio, from my father… from me.”

  She shut her eyes, my words too painful for her to hear.

  “You’re safe, and that’s all that has ever mattered to me. You deserve so much more than anything I could ever offer you, Amira. But exactly like those constellations, neither one of us knows where one starts or the other ends. And nothing will ever fucking change that,” I vowed close to her lips.

  I wanted to touch her.

  I wanted to kiss her.

  Mostly, I wanted to fucking claim her.

  Never understanding how something so wrong…

  Could feel so fucking right.

  I was the first to pull away from her. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to let her go. I accomplished what I came for, and it was time for me to leave. She immediately opened her eyes, staring intently into mine as if she knew what I was thinking. Not wanting me to go as much as I didn’t want to fucking leave.

  “I’m sorry, Muñeca. For the past, for now, for the future… for everything.” With that I kissed the top of her head, letting my lips linger for a few seconds too long before I reluctantly let her go. Walking toward the front door, leaving everything I ever wanted behind.

  Her.

  I placed his gift on my nightstand, gazing up at the stars on my ceiling for I don’t know how long, when I finally pulled myself away to go shower. I was more confused now by his unexpected visit than I was before he even showed up on my doorstep. His sudden presence opened up old wounds, and I felt like I was breaking all over again. I had come to accept what had happened between us, but I had never forgotten. I was healing until he showed up, painfully ripping the Band-Aid from my already sensitive skin. Taking any progress I had made, away. That was the thing about Damien, he was a paradox of contradictions. His words always spoke one thing, but his actions always proved another.

  I stayed under the warm running water, reflecting on everything from the night, until the spray turned cold. Grabbing a towel, I wrapped it around my wet body and made my way back to my bedroom. Just wanting to pass the hell out and avoid any more conflicting emotions he seemed to always stir inside of me.

  For the first time in years, I walked into the room we once shared with nothing but the constellations from the candle lighting up the room. Stopping just outside the door to take in the shadowy figure roaming freely.

  Damien was there.

  He was standing in the middle of the room, looking around the space. Observing how nothing in my room had changed, even though so much between us had.

  “I couldn’t get rid of them,” I announced from the doorway behind him, watching as he took in all the gifts he’d given me throughout the years. “I tried. Several times. So many times, I’d lost count. Whenever I pulled something off one of the shelves, it just felt wrong. Like I was throwing you away, and as much as I wanted to get rid of you, Damien, I couldn’t. You see, I want to hate you. I want to hate you so fucking much, but I can’t. I can’t because I love you too fucking much. Do you have any idea how that feels? To love a man who can’t… won’t… love you back.”

  He slowly turned around, knowing precisely how he’d find me.

  Naked.

  Wet.

  In nothing but a towel.

  In two strides, he closed the distance between us with so much force I slammed against the wall behind me. Hitting it with a hard thud. He instantly caged me in with his arms, making me feel his love and his hate.

  Not for me.

  For himself.

  “What are you doing, Damien?” I breathlessly asked, licking my lips like I was preparing them for him.

  “I have no fucking idea, Muñeca,” he admitted, once again leaning in close to my mouth. “I never do with you.” He softly pecked my lips, waiting for my reaction.

  I moaned, giving him exactly what he wanted.

  And it was all he needed to lose control.

  He roughly gripped onto my waist, lifting me up for my thighs to straddle his waist. Pulling me close to his body.

  His chest.

  His heart.

  He kissed me, parting my lips with his tongue as he carried me over to the bed. The same mattress I’d slept next to him on so many times in the past. When he’d soothe my nightmares, chasing away the monsters from my sleep as much as he did the ones when I was awake. He gently laid me down, spreading my legs to lay in between them, lowering himself onto my heated body. Cradling my face, he never once broke our kiss.

  Our connection.

  Our love for one another.

  There was something different about him as he hovered above me in a way I’d never experienced with him before. Like he was trying to show me a side to him that he didn’t even know existed. Tenderly, he kissed me deep as his hands gently ran down my shoulders to pull the towel off my body.

  “Damien,” I nervously rasped, trembling beneath him, and he was barely even touching me.

  I had no idea what I was in for.

  “Shhh… it’s me, Muñeca. It’s me. I’m here, shhh...” he murmured, the same words he’d always used to calm me. Except, this was for entirely different reasons.

  It worked enough to ease my worry. I visibly relaxed back into the sheets as he completely removed both the towel and himself off my body. I inadvertently whimpered, not only from the loss of his touch, but also from what I knew he desperately wanted to see. I could feel his eyes looking at every last inch of my skin for the first time ever, and I couldn’t help but feeling insecure. I didn’t have Evita’s voluptuous body. I swear I sensed his stare roaming over my perky breasts, to my tan nipples,

down to my narrow, slim waist. Slowly, deliberately, taking his time. My thighs clenched together when I felt his stare heading toward my most sacred area.

  He lightly grabbed onto my knees, gradually spreading my legs open for him. Further and further apart. “It’s me, Muñeca. I need to see what’s always been fucking mine.”

  My face turned another shade of red in both desire and embarrassment, from being spread wide open for him. I could feel my wetness pooling in between my legs from his words and touch. Fueling my need to feel him, anywhere and everywhere. He caused another whimper to escape my lips when I felt his hand slowly expose my clit.

  “Amira,” he huskily groaned in a voice I’d never heard before. “Open your eyes. I need you to look at me while I’m looking at you.”

  I released the breath I didn’t realize I was holding and locked eyes with his hooded stare.

  They were foreign.

  Unfamiliar.

  And everything I ever wanted.

  “Damien, I’m—”

  “I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you, Muñeca.”

  I didn’t know how far this was going to go, but I didn’t hesitate in breathing out, “Then take me.”

  He didn’t have to be told twice. Removing his jacket, he threw it on the floor beside my towel. As he laid down on his stomach, he held onto my thighs and buried his face in between my legs.

  My eyes widened. “What are you—”

  “Shhh,” he hummed, sucking my clit into his mouth.

  My back jolted off the bed, making him chuckle as he moved his head up and down, side-to-side, using his tongue to vibrate against my core. “Mmmm… Damien,” I purred, grabbing ahold of his hair as he continued with his oral assault. He never stopped working me over with his lips and tongue when he started to slide his finger into my soaking wet welcoming heat.

  “Oh, God…” I moaned, curving my back into the mattress beneath me. Entirely coming undone from his touch.

  He devoured me with his tongue and fingers, making love to me with his mouth. Sucking harder and more demanding with each passing second, to the point I thought I was going to pass the hell out. I knew he’d done this with women before, but it felt like he was experiencing the same new sensations I was. His mouth and hand were controlling my body, but my reactions were controlling his willpower to stay in control.

  “Jesus… Damien… I can’t… it’s too much…”

  A loud, rumbling growl escaped from deep within his chest. My words only proved all my thoughts right. He was losing control, and it was what made me completely surrender to the power he held over me.

  I came.

  I came so damn hard I saw stars. He didn’t let up, making me come over and over again, against his fingers and mouth. I started to convulse, my body moving on its own accord. He instantly locked his arm around my lower torso, holding me in place. My back arched off the bed, my hands white-knuckled the sheets, and my body shook with so much force that I thought I would never stop coming undone.

  “Oh, god… ahhh…” I profusely panted, my body turning on me.

  Orgasm after orgasm. They were coming quick and fast, one right after the other with no end in sight. At least, not while he was in between my fucking legs.

  “Please… Damien… please…” I squirmed, begging him to stop, tugging hard at his hair to the point I thought I was going to rip it out.

  He released my clit with an unrelenting groan, not wanting to stop, but allowing me mercy. Thrusting his tongue into my heat, licking, eating, swallowing all my juices like I was his favorite meal. He slowly sat up with a pleased and satisfied expression on his face. Grinning as he shamelessly wiped his lips and chin with the back of his arm. Showing me precisely how much I came only because of him.

  “That’s all you, Muñeca. Your sweet pussy fucking squirted all over me.”

  His filthy words had as much effect on my body as his touch just did. I wanted him to say more dirty things like that to me. I never wanted it to end. He tore his shirt off by pulling it up from the back and over his head, throwing it on the floor beside the rest of our stuff as he started to unbuckle his belt and jeans. “Are you sure you want to do this? Just say the word, Amira, and I will stop now. Because I can guaran-fucking-tee that once I start, I won’t be able to quit. Not with you. Not ever with fucking you.”

  I didn’t falter, not for one second. “You promise?”

  He smiled, sliding down his jeans, letting his hard cock jut free. My face paled, and my head jerked back against the pillow. “Damien… oh my God. You really are a monster.”

  He laughed so hard, throwing his head back.

  “We can’t. It won’t fit. You’ll kill me with that thing.”

  He mischievously grinned, crawling his way up my body, kissing and sucking his way up to my lips.

  “I’m being serious, Damien. That thing is too big. It’s too thick. I can’t—”

  He kissed me hard, stifling my words. “It’s my cock, Muñeca.” He kissed along my neck, down to the cleavage of my breasts. “Not my thing. My cock,” he reaffirmed, peering up at me through the slits of his eyes. Simply stating, “Amira, you were made for me.”

  I beamed, understanding exactly what he was trying to say. He made his way back up to my lips, wanting to claim them again. Grabbing the hair by the nook of my neck, he brought my lips up to meet his, pecking me at first. Teasing them with the tip of his tongue, outlining my pouty mouth. My tongue sought his out, and our kiss quickly turned passionate, moving on its own accord. Taking what the other needed and vice versa.

  He kissed me with everything he could muster up. He kissed me until the earth stopped moving and time stood still. There was something agonizing about the way we were moving—it was urgent, demanding, and all-consuming. We couldn’t get enough of each other’s taste, leaving us thirsty and wanting so much more.

  I wanted everything.

  He caressed the side of my face, my breasts, the back of my thighs as if he didn’t know where he wanted to touch me the most.

  “I love you, Muñeca,” he throatily said in between our passionate kisses.

  “I love you too,” I panted, needing him to hear it as well.

  He kissed me like his life depended on it. Like I was everything he ever wanted and so much more. I yearned for him to make us one person in the same way I always had before.

  “Damien…” I moaned in a voice I didn’t recognize.

  Our bodies moved in sync like they were made for each other, nothing could ever compare or even come close to this. I placed my hand on his rapidly beating heart that was pounding against my chest and opened my eyes, staring profusely into his.

  The devotion.

  The adoration.

  The love…

  He had for me, spilled out of his dark, dilated, intensely piercing honey eyes.

  “There she is… there’s my girl,” he rasped, slowly thrusting in.

  “Ahhh… Damien...”

  “Shhh… Muñeca, I got you.”

  I swear I felt every last inch of him as he tore his way through my virginity. My teeth bit into my bottom lip hard enough to taste blood. I probably should’ve told him I was still a virgin, though I was scared he would stop.

  Or worse, he wouldn’t do it all.

  He slowly, tenderly thrust in and out of me, trying to steady his breathing, while I tried hard not to jerk away from him. I waited for the initial pain to subside, hoping like hell it didn’t burn like this the entire time. My moans and whimpers weren’t from pleasure, and it was then he knew.

  He stopped, staring lovingly into my eyes. Contemplating what to say before he just whispered, “I’m so fucking in love with you, Muñeca...”

  Emotions I’d never felt before flowed through my entire body while throbbing sensations took over the ache, relaxing my body a little more. Not only did Damien make slow, passionate love to me, he claimed me without words. His hips thrust harder and deeper into me with a compassionate, deliberate mo

tion. I couldn’t do anything but surrender to him. Submit to the only man I ever loved with my heart, body, and soul.

  With every kiss, every touch, every thrust, and every single I love you, he made unspoken promises to me. He adoringly kissed all over my face, along my jawline, my forehead, and on the tip of my nose. The room started spinning like it did when his face was in between my legs. My head fell back, and my breathing became heady, urgent, and so good…

  He immediately lapped at my neck and breasts, leaving tiny marks all over. I didn’t want to move, I wanted to enjoy the sensation of him being on top of me.

  “That feel good, baby?” he groaned, making his way back up to my mouth.

  I nodded, unable to form words. My arms reached around him, hugging him closer against my body, wanting to feel his entire weight on me. He leaned his forehead on mine. Breathing out, “Open your eyes. Let me see those brown eyes, Muñeca.”

  I did, taking in how lively, thriving, and full of love his stare reflected back into mine. Our mouths were parted, still touching and panting profusely, trying to feel each and every sensation of our skin-on-skin contact. I swear the pounding of our hearts echoed off the walls.

  “Fuck, baby… Come… come on my cock… just like that…”

  Still no words.

  I was coming. I was coming from my head to my toes, and all he needed was to keep doing whatever he was doing. A faint whimper turned into a moan when he angled my leg up higher, hitting that spot that his fingers did before. Like he could feel my silent pleas, he gave my throbbing nub some much-needed attention.

  “You like that, Muñeca?” he questioned with warm words and passionate kisses to my lips.

  “Damien…” I panted.

  “Fuck, Amira… Fuck… you feel so good… so fucking tight… so fucking mine…” he growled, somewhere in between pleasure and pain.

  I fell.

  He fell.

  We met somewhere in the middle. My entire world spun out of control, and so did his as I shuddered beneath him, and his body tensed above mine.

  He was the beginning to my end or maybe it was the end to my beginning.

  It didn’t matter because he was my home too.